Learning to Laugh at Yourself

laughing at yourselfLaugh at Yourself and Relax

Would you believe that having a good laugh at yourself can be liberating? Laughing when things go wrong helps you to avoid being frustrated or embarrassed when something goes wrong. It’s also a great releaser of tension.

In addition, seeing the behavior as funny gives you the room you need to grow. You don’t take yourself so seriously. Consider these benefits of laughing at yourself and lightening up overall.

The powerful benefits of learning to laugh at yourself

  1. Promotes healing

Humor can take the sting away from sensitive issues. When you look back at how you used to behave you can create better responses when you are compassionate with yourself rather than judging yourself. Think of scenes you’ve seen in situation comedies. You might not think of laughing at them if they happened to you, but give it a try.

  1. Stress reductionYoga for stress reduction

It’s exhausting and even unhealthy to impress people all the time and live up to impossible expectations. Let go of the tension and relax with a good laugh, even laugh at yourself. Have you heard of laughing yoga? Look it up and discover how to laugh even when you don’t feel like it.

  1. Achieve goals and take risks

Working on challenging goals can expand your skill set and improve your knowledge. You might not succeed the first time but you’re more likely to try again when you stay cheerful about the situation. Have you ever laughed or grinned when an infant is learning to walk? When you’re learning something new think of yourself as learning to walk… and laugh!

  1. Higher energy levels

Laughter is a great way to boost your energy. It gives your body more oxygen and keeps the blood pumping which invigorates you. Let the laughter come.

  1. Improved relationships

Trying to prove that you’re right all the time can damage your interactions and relationships with others. Friends and family will enjoy your company more when you stay flexible. Not being attached to your every point of view, and even admitting when some of them may be funny, releases tension between friends and colleagues.

  1. It’s free entertainment

It can be expensive to go watch a movie and play a video game. Having a laugh at yourself is free and a fun way to spend time. You’ll enjoy yourself more, also.

Give yourself a chance to laughGive yourself a chance to laugh with these opportunities

Here are a few opportunities to assist you in learning to laugh at yourself.

  1. Learning new languages

Studies have shown that communicating using another language will boost your thinking skills. It also gives you some funny stories when you say something wrong by accident such as declaring you’re pregnant when you mean something else entirely.

  1. Get a pet

Pets make everything more fun. They can make you smile just by doing something simple like drinking from a faucet you’re trying to use. Animals are surprisingly good at training humans to smile.

  1. Decorate your space

If you have a dull work space then decorate it a little. Bring in some small toys or great pictures. If at work, hide something funny in your drawer and bring it out when you need to lighten your mood.

  1. Be creatively “fashionable”

You can find whimsy in your clothes too. Find silly underwear and put it on. You’ll be the only one to know what’s really underneath your suit. If you’re a guy, wear a funny tie. Find something light hearted to wear as an accessory.

  1. Visit a thrift store

If you don’t have something fun with you then it’s time to go shopping. Thrift stores have numerous wonderful little trinkets that are bound to put a smile on your face, especially if you actually wear them or use them.

  1. Hang out with younger people

If you want to know if you’re funny spend time with people from another generation. Have fun talking about the days before computers made everything so easy.

  1. Eat messy food

Go ahead and eat something messy like a banana split in public. Sometimes you should forget to be so neat. Just wear the appropriate clothes.

  1. Bring out the picture books

Looking at pictures in your high school yearbook is bound to make you laugh. The hairstyles and fashions of the past are definitely worth another look after all this time.

Baby grinning

  1. Watch videos of infants, children or pets

Google “babies laughing” and watch the videos which come up. I enjoy laughing at videos of animals doing surprising things.

 

Here’s one combing both babies and pets: https://youtu.be/ZAmZucyzyZM

10. Just laugh. I’m not kidding. Just start laughing. You might fake it at first but soon you’ll be laughing. There is a group called Laughing Yoga and that’s what they do. They get together and start laughing. Laughter is contagious… you can catch it from yourself. Just try it!

Summary

Taking yourself less seriously builds confidence and character. Laughing at yourself and at life means you are strong enough to go beyond your comfort zone and get more out of life. You also learn the things you can take less seriously and just flow away from you.

Heal the Blocks to Laughing at Yourself

A major impediment to laughing at yourself is not being able to see the fun in life and the silliness of certain situations. Identify why you may find laughter difficult at times. Think of a situation comedy. Would a particular event be a great episode for a situation comedy?

Heal the wounds which are holding you back from enjoying life by laughing at the star of your show… you!

The Soul Healing Prayer can assist. Get it by clicking on the heart below.

Click on the heart to receive the prayer: Red_Heart

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How to Criticize or Avoid Criticism

Avoiding CriticismThe image tells you exactly how to avoid criticism. Yep, don’t do or say anything. Oh, wait, that won’t work either, will it? You’ll then be criticized for not doing anything.

All of us criticize people. We may not do it to the individual directly. Sometimes we do, especially if criticism, hopefully constructive, is part of our job.

Let’s chat about how to give constructive criticism.

Providing constructive criticism requires you being balanced within yourself and clear about what you want to say. You want to be helpful, but you know some people accept criticism and others are offended by even the mildest form of criticism.

Providing constructive criticism in a positive and helpful manner is a skill. Like any skill it is something you can learn. You can learn how to criticize.

Let’s look at some strategies on how to criticize:

  1. Be sure what you have to say is helpful. You can say something which is true, but is not in any way helpful. If the person can’t do anything about what is happening, your criticism is not helpful In fact, it might be a form of bullying.
  •  Even if the criticism is helpful, that doesn’t mean someone will take it well. Be prepared for a tearful, angry or hostile response.
  1. Be sure you’re the right person to provide the criticism. What is your past history with the person? Has it been supportive or hostile? If you have a tumultuous history with the individual, unless your job position calls for it, find someone else to deliver the message.
  1. Be specific. Giving specific feedback is helpful. The other person has a specific goal or strategy s/he can focus on. Provide suggestions on how to overcome the situation.
  1. Right Time and PlaceChoose an appropriate time and place. Provide the feedback privately and out of ear-shot of others. Also, as much as possible choose a time the person is doing well. You don’t want to deliver criticism when the individual has just been diagnosed with an illness or received disturbing news.
  1. Remain factual and unemotional. Just give the facts and the solution. Even if you are upset, keep your tone even. In fact, wait until you’ve cooled off if you are upset.
  1. Focus on behavior. Avoid value judgments. Telling someone they’re sloppy is an insult. Telling them their tennis backhand technique is inconsistent addresses the behavior. Don’t make it about a personality characteristic. Make it about a behavior.
  1. Which is better? “Please pick up your dirty socks” or “Why are you a slob?” You’ll receive a very difference responses to the questions..Be Pleasant Everything is easier with a pleasant expression and a smile. Use open body language with your arms by your side, not folded over your chest. Be sincere. This means you need to be sure you don’t have an ulterior motive.
  1. Begin and End with a Positive. Say something positive or give a complement before giving your criticism. Begin your constructive criticism with a positive tone of voice. End the criticism with another compliment. You want the person to be receptive and make positive changes. By beginning and ending on a positive note, the individual is more likely to take your words to heart.
  1. Just Give One. Even if you have 20 things you could discuss, keep your comments limited to the one at a time, or two relevant ones. Begin with the ones most easily corrected. This helps him or her be successful. You don’t want to overwhelm the individual. That will leave him or her feeling helpless. You want them to be their best. This builds trust. Then you can give more serious criticisms which will be easier to accept if s/he trusts you.
  1. Use humor. Be lighthearted if appropriate. Humor can makes things easier. You could relate an amusing story about the mistakes you’ve made. This can ease any tension or embarrassment.
  1. Know when to stop. Watch reactions. It will be obvious when s/he’s had enough. You’re wasting your time and making a bad situation worse by continuing. You can find another time and place to revisit the issue if needed.

These tips can be used with your children, employees, or a significant other. There is no need to give criticism to casual strangers. That’s simply bullying. Providing criticism appropriately is a skill worth learning. There will be a time someone close to you or someone you’re responsible for is driving you crazy. Learn these skills before you lash out in a way which is detrimental to you both.

If you find you have difficulty is giving or receiving constructive criticism, let’s set up an time we can do some healing of the underlying wounds. Often a simple 30-minute session can do wonders. Click here to contact me. This link will take you to my website.

Know What’s in Your Heart: The Power of Thoughts and Feelings

booksHave you ever had a deep heartfelt revelation by reading fiction?

I wasn’t reading the book, but listening to it on audio.

I’m on one of my cross-country trips which covers about 6000 miles. I discovered it takes me about 16 ½ hours to go from Sedona Arizona to Houston Texas.  I know that because it took me a half-hour longer to get to Houston than my audio book lasted. A friend of mine had convinced me to listen to audiobooks as I’m traveling because it makes the time go by faster. She was certainly right.

Before the trip I stopped off at the Sedona library and selected six audiobooks only to discover five was the limit. The books that took the most time to listen to with the ones I selected.

My first selection was Bridge of Dreams by Anne Bishop. Turns out it was the last book in a series of five
or six of her Emphera series. There was enough information included in the story that I didn’t feel I missed anything.

What touched me was the premise of the book. It was about a world in which there are physical manifestations of what is in your heart. For instance, if you had anger rocks popped up in your garden. If you were wicked plants which stunk to high heaven popped up when you were nearby.

When people were taking their leave they were told “Carry your heart lightly because what is there becomes part of your landscape.”

Landscape, as used in the book, is taken literally. Boulders and flowers and trees can all appear based upon what you wish for in the deepness of your heart. In the book they are called Heart wishes.

What is in your heart?

Red_HeartThink about what is in your heart. I’m talking about the things you attempt to hide from others. You may smile sweetly as you tolerate someone else, but what if what you were carrying in your heart manifested physically. You wouldn’t be able to hide from anyone what you had in your heart.

The truth held in this book of fiction was not new to me, but I certainly needed to be reminded of the truth in a deep way.

I can try to hide from people what I actually feel about them or a particular topic, but my heart reveals my truth. If my heart changed the landscape around by sprouting flowers or raining down rocks people would know what my truth was no matter what I said.

We can fool others about what is in our heart. We can even fool ourselves about what is in our heart. We cannot fool Spirit or The Universe.

Instant feedback on what is in your heartmark-804935_1280

There is a form of technology known as biofeedback. In all probability you have heard of it. The biofeedback machine gives instant data on your heart rate, blood pressure and other functions of your body as thoughts and feelings go through you. Research has demonstrated that when you have instant data on how your thoughts affect your heart rate or blood pressure, you are then able to control your thoughts and, thus, your blood pressure more easily.

If you had rocks popping up around when you are angry or smelly plants following you along if your heart was filled with wickedness, then you would be less likely to be able to fool yourself into believing you were calm and peaceful.

Words are creative forces, but it is the energy behind those words which supply the creative power.

Consider the scenarios of when someone says “I love you.”

In the first situation someone you dearly love is looking into your eyes with a gentle smile saying those three powerful and beautiful words. You may have been waiting for months to hear them from this beloved person. Imagine how that feels?

Now consider the scenario in which someone you dearly love is tapping messages on to his or her phone and says “I love you” while tapping. How does that feel?

In this last scene imagine your beloved screaming in anger the words “I love you.” How does that feel?

All three of those different scenarios use the same three powerful words. Their effect, however, is dependent upon the energy behind the words. The full energy of love enters into you when someone has his or her full attention upon you and is professing his or her love.

When someone distractedly says “I love you” you don’t know if the words are directed at the phone or the television.

When those three powerful words are said in anger, they remain powerful, but the energy is painful and contrary to the feelings of love.

cactus-633827_1280If plants, rocks, boulders or suffocating thorny trees popped up when we expressed our feelings, we would be more aware of what was truly in our hearts. If our physical landscape actually changed when we made wishes as in “I wish he wasn’t here,” we would become aware of what our emotion behind our words can manifest.

Spend time today being aware of what is truly in your heart. What is the emotion behind your words and actions? What would your physical landscape look like as you go about your day? Are you producing sweet smelling and beautiful flowers or are you producing a horrible smelly plant such as the corpse flower?

Once you become aware then you are able to make changes in your thoughts and feelings. Awareness, mindfulness, produces a deep change within the heart if you are so willing.

Learn how to heal the wounds which cause the things in your heart you don’t want.

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Anchoring in Happiness to Overcome Fear

The Power of Anchoring in Happiness to Overcome Fear

After having completed a week of studying the chapter called “Self-Confidence” in Napoleon Hill’s 1925 edition of The Law of Success, I wanted to present a powerful tool for overcoming fear that was popularized in the latter part of the 20th Century. This tool is one anyone who can touch their body in any way can use. If you make diligent use of this simple little technique you will be able to overcome your fear of success or of failure. The result being that you will be able to achieve your goals.

First Step Is Complex Visualization

I’m sure you have heard of the importance of visualizing your goal to fix them firmly in your mind. Because the of the word “visualization,” people think they only need to form an image. Most don’t realize that fixing your goal firmly in mind also requires the incorporation of all your senses. For instance, if your goal is to have a loving relationship, form a scene in your mind of what that loving relationship would not only look like, but also the sounds, tastes, smells and touches involved. The most powerful addition to your image is your own personal feelings. Be sure and feel the emotions of love, acceptance, joy, desire in this relationship you want.

If your visualization is about money, form an image of all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, emotions and physical sensations of what having money is to you. If being wealthy involves good food and drink, smell the aromas, taste the savory or sweetness of what you put in your mouth, hear the background sounds of wherever you want to be enjoying this meal, feel the texture of the money in your hand, see your bank statement, experience the feelings of security that come with your money.

Second Step is Color

As you can tell, forming your visualization can take some time and, if done with full activation of all your senses, can be rather complex. You gather your total experience and link it to a color. What color represents for you the scene you so completely formed? If you are color blind and can only see shades of grey, choose a part of your image, say a wine glass, tree or twenty dollar bill that can bring to mind the entire scene. See this color or image overlay the deep sensory image you have developed.

Third Step is Anchoring in the Scene

You want a very quick action that anchors in your complex visualization. Your body is an information transmitter. Put information in your body and it will hold it there for you. This is a type of cellular memory. Make use of this power of your body by anchoring in your complex and complete sensory scene you developed. Touch your body while the scene in your mind is at its height with the color or single image you have selected to represent the whole. Bringing your thumb and forefinger together of one hand is what most people use. If you experience paralysis that prevents you from moving your fingers, press your lips together firmly, move your tongue in a particular way or even squeeze your eyes shut. Once you combine the physical anchor with the color or symbolic representation and anchor this into your body with some sort of physical touch, you have what you need to eliminate fear.

Forth Step Is Using the Positive to Extinguish the Fear

Now you are set for a very simple process that, when used regularly, will assist you in get rid of your fear. Note I wrote “simple.” I did not say this is easy. The simple process takes dedication and commitment.

Be sure you are not touching you body using your physical anchor. Now bring to mind your fear. Experience your feelings of fear. Now use your physical anchor, such as bringing your thumb and forefinger together. See the color or symbol you developed to represent your complex scene. Get in touch with all the sensory information of the scene that is positive for you. When the fear is gone, or at a very low level, release your physical anchor and repeat the process.

You can do this if you will make the time and effort to do so.

The Mastery of Fear

The Mastery of Fear

The Mastery of Fear can be a wonderful emotion that keeps you alive. It is fear which has you react quickly and without thought when there is an on-coming car. Your instincts take over and, without thought or analysis, you move quickly out of the way of danger. As much as fear can keep you alive, it can also freeze you into inaction. You can become so terrified you will be hurt in some way that you refuse to take risks and try new things. In this situation fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.

False Evidence

When your mind runs wild with the danger of taking a particular action, you are convincing yourself of something you have no evidence will actually happen. Let’s say you’re interested in mountain climbing but you’re terrified you’ll fall and either die or be severely hurt. True, this has happened to many people, but not to as many as you might think. The news takes great relish in furiously reporting death and destruction. It rarely reports life and excitement, unless it’s involving a national or college sports team.

How many people do you know who have successfully climbed the 55 fourteeners (14,000+ foot high peaks) in Colorado? I have no idea, but I did a quick internet search using the keywords, “climbing the 14000 foot mountains of Colorado.” There were 774,000 results with the top ones containing a tremendous amount of information of the 14ers, the moniker used by one web site. If you have a desire to climb, are you going to be paralyzed by the negative of what might happen or by the positive accomplishments of tens of thousands of people who regularly climb?

By researching you can learn the definite danger spots of climbing mountains, or any other endeavor for that matter, and form a plan to overcome them. All you need is education, a plan of action, the right equipment or tools, and the desire to move forward.

Appearing Real

When your self-talk is negative, you are training your brain to be afraid. You’ve heard the saying, “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” (This came from the movie “The Fly” with Jeff Goldbloom.) Although, the actual intent of the slogan was humorous, your negative self-talk is training your mind to be in a state of fear. You would protect yourself more by being wary of what you can do to yourself through your thoughts and beliefs than fearing whatever effect an action you take can have. When you combine the power of your emotions with thoughts, you form a chemical bond which imprints upon your brain. Your thoughts plus emotion can form a loop which is difficult to break out of. Use positive feelings with positive thoughts and you will move further in life in one year than you have ever done before.

Your brain and your mental abilities are amazing. Science is just beginning to seriously study the power of the combination of your thoughts plus your emotions. We are learning that the thought plus emotion combo fools your brain into believing that what you are thinking of is real. When you combine emotions of fear with thoughts of “I can’t do this or something bad will happen,” your brain believes it is real. You’ve just created for yourselfFalse Evidence Appearing Real.

Napoleon Hill in “The Law of Success” talks about how the enemy of progress is fear. It can immobilize you if you let it. It can prevent you from accessing the power residing within you to fulfill your dreams. It will quench the passion which fuels your action.

The promise in the power you have within you if you only allow it to bloom, is that by controlling what you think and feel, and that includes fear and thoughts of fear, you can accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible.

The Difference between Disease and Dis-ease

The Difference between Disease and Dis-ease

[one_half]If you are not feeling at ease with something, what do you do? If you’re like most people you will find out what you can do to become more at ease.

What if you have a disease, say arthritis? What do you do? Most people go to their health care provider and get something to take, something outside of themselves, to manage the problem.

When you have dis-ease, even if it has manifested in what people call disease, you look for what you can do to change the situation. That may seem like semantics, but it is crucial.

The allopathic heath care system has trained people to look for something outside of themselves to fix physical problems called disease. It is a disease model.

As explained in the post in part 1 of distance healing, the key to supporting the physical body in healing itself is to change what is happening inside of you… thoughts, feelings, hurts.

That is the dis-ease which is resulting in the disease. You can change that dis-ease and bring your body to greater ease. This is done through healing.

Let me give you an example from years ago when I was teaching Healing Touch. One of the participants in the class came to me at a break to ask if there was anything I could do about his knee. The doctor’s hadn’t been able to give him much relief except through pain medication. The next step was surgery.

I invited him to lay down on the massage table and was going to do some energy balancing with him focusing on his knee. Intuitively, I was guided to have him communicate with his knee. This may [/one_half][one_half-last]seem strange if you’ve never done it before, but once you learn it is a powerful adjunct to your own healing journey.

After asking him a few questions while he was bringing his attention to his knee, he recalled a memory. He was about 12, riding with his friends on bicycles. They were doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. I didn’t ask what it was because I didn’t need to know more to guide him through the process.

As he and his friends were speeding around a corner, his bike tire hit a rock and he went flying. Now, you tell me what 12-year old boy is going to cry in front of his friends when he falls off a bike? Not many, right? Although he wanted to cry, although he had been scared flying through the air for those brief seconds, he buried his feelings. He buried them there in his knee. His knee held the dis-ease of the event.

Once he got in touch with the feelings trapped in his knee, I guided him through an easy process to release those feelings using his breath. The pain was gone when he got up from the table. He walked with greater ease than he had done in a couple of decades.

I don’t know if his releasing the process healed the knee of all its physical problems. He may have had some physical damage to the knee. Let’s say he was diagnosed with arthritis. The arthritis is the disease. The feelings were the dis-ease. Dis-ease can lead to disease. When you release the dis-ease, you give your body the space it needs to heal. The disease is often on its way to healing.

Musings on Mind-Body Health

Musings on Mind-Body Health

[one_half]Teachers and writers, of which I am both, have this need to share what is on their mind and in their hearts. I’m also a therapist which adds focus to my writing.

I want a place I can share my musings, to put myself out there. There are times I just want to write. This blog serves the purpose of me wanting to write. Sometimes I’ll publish something in which I first wrote as an article for various ezines. Other times I’ll just sit down and write. My plan is to send out notices once a week or so about new blog postings. I plan on writing more often than that.

Mind-body health is a wide ranging field. Everything we think, everything we feel, everything we do affects our body in some way. I suppose that means I can write about anything I want. Of course, it being my blog, I can write about anything I want.

There will be times I write about emotional and mental health. After all, that is what I’m trained in. I’m also trained in energy medicine using various modalities. My primary two are The BodyTalkSystem and PSYCH-K TM. Because I find both of them so powerful, I usually integrate them.

PSYCH-K balances beliefs. You can eliminate the non-supporting beliefs which have been sabotaging your life. You replace them with supportive beliefs. For instance, my step-dad used to say about someone, “He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.” If you have a tendency to quit or find some way to sabotage yourself when you are close to your goal, you have a limiting belief. It could be fear of success and all the responsibility success has. People say fear of   failure, but I’m [/one_half] [one_half_last] not sure  that’s the right way of saying it. It’s probably fear that you won’t succeed and then you’ll look like a fool. Perhaps a post on this later. I digressed…

Body Talk can balance the mind, body and spirit. It balances on all levels. Sometimes there is a belief in there which prevents your innate wisdom from allowing a particular balance. Let’s go back to the fear of success. Let’s say you have a belief that your family will disown you or not want to be with you because you actually succeed. They may think you are uppity. In some convoluted way you hold onto physical problems so you don’t have to face that possibility. When you balance the belief which holds the fear, innate wisdom then allows for the balancing of the body so you can be healthy. The two modalities are a powerful combination.

Just for fun I’m going to start on a series of articles about distance healing. This is something I do often. In fact, it’s become my favorite way of working with someone. Why? I am better able to focus. I am able to go deeper into myself to connect with all my spiritual helpers. I have the computer in front of me in case I get a link that says “liver, left lobe, more specific.” When I got left lobe, innate brought me to the depth of my knowledge about this liver. If I need to know more I just Google it. (I’ve only Binged a couple of times.)

I have received some amazing comments from people who have had truly healing results. Much fun… and I do love to have fun.

Enjoy reading my musing. I’m glad you’re here.  [/one_half_last]


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