Fear of Failure: How to Push through Fear

Fear of Failure

What is the Fear of Failure

Have you ever had that gut-wrenching fear of failure tie you in knots?

If you define success by the inner quality of feeling proud of your accomplishments, I believe everyone wants to be successful.

Many people who look outwardly successful have an emotional program of fear of failure running in the background of their lives.

For successful people this fear propels them forward. They do everything they can to be sure failure doesn’t catch up to them. The problem is they will make decisions based upon what they don’t want to happen. In other words, they are always looking in the rear view mirror attempting to outrun failure rather than looking ahead to the successful outcome of their actions.

The “rear view mirror” outlook is not a pleasant one. There is a vague, and sometimes profound feeling of discontent and anxiety that failure will overtake them. They “see” in their mind’s eye all they have accomplished laying in shards around their feet.

This is not happiness. There is no Joy in focusing on outrunning that which you are attempting to avoid. There will always be this dissatisfaction driving them to the next activity so they can feel secure, successful. The problem is that as long as the fear of failure is what drives them, there is no safety, no security.

Depending upon how strong the fear is, judgment can be clouded resulting in bad decisions made impulsively. This can make the fear a reality.

The Power of Focusing on Success

Runners are told to never look back and see who might be catching up with them. That second of changing their focus from the finish line slows them down enough where the person one-step behind could pull ahead.

Always focus ahead.

When you’re focusing on success you’re not imagining what you do which can go wrong. You’re focusing on those actions which will move you forward.

This is huge when you realize the role of your subconscious mind in failure or success.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t care whether you fail or succeed. That’s because it only does what it thinks you want it to do. If you are holding failure in your mind, that’s what you subconscious mind thinks you want. It will do everything it can to make that happen for you.

Ahh, but if you hold success in mind, then that is where your subconscious mind will lead you.

Align Your Subconscious Mind with Success

Let’s look at some ways to get your subconscious mind on board with what you want.

Define Success

You have to realize your subconscious mind is concrete. It doesn’t deal in abstracts. If  you say you want to succeed and then move into fear by imagining all that can go wrong, then that is how your subconscious mind will define success. Not what you want!

Give your subconscious mind actual cues of what success means to you.

Vision BoardsRoad to success

This is easy and it’s fun. You may have heard about constructing a vision board. That’s where you cut out
pictures and words and put them on a poster board. The very process of looking for images and sayings of what you wants assists your subconscious mind in knowing what you want.

Post your vision board where you can see it. But, don’t just look at it. Imagine your are experiencing every one of those things on your vision board. If you put a boat on your board then feel yourself on it, the wind in your face, the warmth of the sun. Feel the joy!

Mental Images

These are mental vision boards. I suggest you have several. I’ll tell you why in a moment.

Construct a mental success image now. Yep, right now. It won’t take long.

What do you want to accomplish? See you accomplishing it. If you want to run and complete a marathon, see yourself crossing the finish line. Hear people cheering your success. Feel the sweat dripping down your body and the smile on your face. Feel the emotion of success. Revel in that emotion of success. Hear what people say to you about your success. Hear you congratulating your success.

Now form another mental success image. Perhaps it’s learning a craft. My example will be making jewelry. Bring to mind a piece you’d like to make. Feel the completed gorgeous piece in your hands. Hear people ohh and ahh when seeing it. Again, feel that satisfaction in your body.

Everyday bring to mind these mental images in all their sensory detail. Tell your subconscious mind, “This is success.” Then go into the image, feelings, sounds, tastes and smells.

Use these images any time fear of failure rears it’s ugly self-confidence draining ugly head. Tell that fear, “Liar. This is where I’m going.” Then bring those images to mind.

You can do this. Get rid of the rear view mirror and move forward to success!

I’m cheering you on.

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3 Easy Ways to Tap into Your Joyful Heart

Your heart on Joy

3 Easy Ways to Tap into Your Joyful Heart

Are you ready to tap into your joyful heart?

In Traditional Chinese Medicine says that your heart holds the emotion of Joy. It also holds the emotion of sadness. It isn’t unusual for us to get caught in the sadness and allow it to hide the joy which is our birth right.

Yep, Joy is your birthright. You were made to live in Joy, to enjoy.

The problem is that our lives become filled with the mundane things of life. We’re so busy juggling tasks and responsibilities that we don’t make time to do what brings us happiness. We don’t take the time to en-Joy what is around us.

Did you know that not having joy in your daily life has been known to lead to unhappiness?

In fact, a lack of joy in your daily life can have long term negative consequences to your health.

Consider the symbolism of a hurting heart. A physically hurting heart can lead to cardio-vascular problems including heart attacks, high blood pressure, heart murmurs and more.

One of the best ways to prevent physical heart problems is to have a life filled with joy. There is medical research to back this up.

Several well-known studies have found that positive emotions, including joy, have a profound positive effect on your health. One such study entitled “Positive Emotion and Health: Going Beyond the Negative,” was published in the July 2005 issue of Health Psychology. This research study found:

Having joy and optimism provided a 51% reduction in the rates of heart disease among men who were followed for 10 years during the study.

Although women weren’t studied, you can be sure positive emotions such as joy and hope would reduce our incidence of heart disease as well. Those emotions also protected the individuals from high blood pressure, diabetes, and upper respiratory infections.

Pretty cool, don’t you think?

No pills neededNo medication needed. Simply add joy, delight, and hope and move about your life.

Let’s talk about three easy ways to notice where Joy is hiding in your life.

How to do it!

I’d like you to choose one of the three methods below and DO IT today. They’re simple. You just need to be aware.

  1. Take time to appreciate and delve in activities that delight you.You know that energy lag in the middle of the day? The one where you get coffee or something sweet? Yes, that one.

Try this instead. (You can easily do this at work.) Bring to mind something you enjoy. It could even be something you haven’t done in a while. Close your eyes and imagine yourself doing it. If it’s hiking, immerse yourself in your last hike. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Feel those feelings of joy, delight and contentment.

If you enjoy making things, imagine yourself in every step of putting together something.

Whenever you feel your energy beginning to dwindle during the day, take a break and focus on something that brings you pleasure.

Be sure and schedule a time for you to physically do what you’re imagining.

  • Give yourself permission to have little “joy breaks” throughout your day. Focus on family, friends, a favorite memory. These will instantly lift your mood, as well as reduce stress and recharge your energy.
  • Simple things like savoring a cup of your favorite tea (I’m a tea person) or coffee, or reconnecting with an old friend have the ability to bring you joy.
  • Take time each day to focus on those simple activities that make you feel happier. You will benefit greatly and so will your heart.
  1. Be Joyful!Count your blessings. When things get tough and you feel overwhelmed, take 60 seconds and list as many blessings as you can think of. Focusing on the people, things and activities in your life which are going in a positive direction. Allow your heart to fill with appreciation.
  • Feeling and expressing gratitude are very powerful. When you take time to reflect on better times in the past, what’s going well now, you can instantly lift your mood. This gives you the strength to keep working towards your goals.
  • Consider keeping a “blessings journal.” When life gets so difficult you can’t think of one thing to be thankful for, pull out your blessings journal and read it. This will help lift you up and encourage you during the difficult times.
  1. Change things up and do something new. The same ol’ routine can make life dull and unexciting. Why not try something completely different to rediscover your joy?
  • Your imagination is the only limit. You can explore a new route to and from work, do that one thing you’ve always said, “I need to…” Try a new recipe. Change your daily routine where possible.
  • Consider learning a new skill or hobby. If you don’t have a hobby in mind, try something you wanted to do as a child or before life got so busy. Did you dream of traveling to a faraway country in the past? Go online and explore places you’d like to visit. Consider taking classes to learn that country’s language and then plan a trip.

They key is to make time for laughter and fun throughout your day.

You will you rediscover your joy, strengthen your health, and increase your own happiness. You’ll also discover an increase in energy and you’ll be happier.

Your positive outlook will have a positive effect upon others around you. Your increased joy might lead to increasing their level of joy, too… and we know the world certainly needs more of that!

To heal those wounds which limit your joy, get the 5-Step Soul Healing Prayer.

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

The major reason clients come into my office is to assist them in becoming successful in life. They asked me, “What can I do? Are there some affirmations I can use which can help me become successful in my field?” Yes, of course there are. There is something even more important than affirmations for success. This is believing in yourself.
The Combination of Words and Action
Just minutes ago I was working with the man who is extremely talented. He will soon have his doctorate, he’s an excellent writer, he has tremendous insight into his field. There is one thing he does not have. That is the self-confidence to do what he needs to do to reach his ultimate goal.
I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him. It doesn’t matter if you have self-confidence. It only matters that you have a plan and you follow it. When you follow one at a time the steps you have outlined, you will gain self-confidence on the way.
Stating affirmations does you absolutely no good if you do not couple them with action. when you combine positive statements with taking the steps necessary to move forward your entire being comes into alignment moving you to what you want to accomplish.
You can have all the gasoline you want in a car, but if you do not turn the key it will not move forward. The same is true for positive affirmations. Think of these statements that you make as the gasoline to your car. Taking action is turning the key so that it all comes together. When you combine the repetition of what you want to become beliefs to guide your life with the action necessary to accomplish your goal, you will gain self-confidence. And with that you will become successful in your career and other areas of life.
Putting Together Postive Statements with Powerful Imaging
I’m going to give you two sets of affirmations. The first has to do with believing in yourself. The second has to do with success in your career. I’m assuming here that you know what it is you want to be going.
Remember you have to combine words with action. In this case, I want you to incorporate the power of your mind. Do this by imagining yourself being or doing what the affirmations states. After doing this exercise, take the first step necessary to manifest your goal. This could be picking up the phone, taking a course, or some other necessary step. Just be sure it move  you forward and is not just spinning your wheels, so to speak.
To Increase Self-Confidence
  1. I have unlimited potential.
  2. My very being radiates competence and confidence.
  3. I am excited about life and the possibilities available.

To Attract Success in Your Career

  1. I have the ability to become competent and capable in any area of expertise I apply myself.
  2. I attract to me the perfect career, at the perfect salary with the perfect benefits for me.
  3. Every decision I make leads me directly to the achievement of my career goals.
Summary
Each time you repeat any of these statements imagine yourself being what you have just said. Believe in yourself and follow your plan.

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Affirmations are simple positive statements you make which reinforce something in your life. These statements can be about what you would like to have, such as riches and fame, or the type of person you would like to be, such as loving or assertive. You can always go to your favorite search engine and find affirmations particular to your situation. The best, however, are those you develop for yourself. Here is a simple process in which you can do this.

Identify What You Want

Many people believe this is very easy. You may think you want riches, but you would really like is security. When you say you want success, you may actually desire a parental approval.

To discover what you truly want in life keep repeating the same question. That question is, “And what will that get me?”

For instance, you say you want a particular type of house in a specific neighborhood. Ask, “And what will that get me?”. An answer might be, “It’ll prove I’m successful.” Now ask, “And what will that get me?” This time you might say, “People will notice me.” Repeat the process. You might get, “People will look up to me.” Keep doing this until you get a sort of ah-ha internal experience. Then you know this is truly what you want.

Develop Your Positive Statement

Now that you know your true desire put it in a positive statement using present tense. An example, “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” If you follow the process above, this affirmation may be exactly what it is that you truly want. Yes, you may still have that house in mind, but that comes later in the process.

If you get your house, but don’t get what you truly want, you will still feel dissatisfied and empty. The key is to  uncover your deepest yearnings. When those are fulfilled you will experience joy and completion.

Identify How You Will  Know You Have What You Most Want

This process actually works with your subconscious mind. It is your subconscious mind which silently guides and directs you by means of what it believes you want to happen in your life. Your subconscious mind is concrete, not abstract. It doesn’t deal in feelings (unless you tell it what those feelings mean), but black-and-white statements. You have to tell it what you mean by what you say. This is where that house you have your eye on comes in.

How will you know when you have achieved,  “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” List three things you will see in your life when the statement, “My family notices my success and congratulates me” is fulfilled. This is where you put things such as, “I have a house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms built to my specifications on an acre of land next to the water,” “My children attend an elite private school and are at the top of their class,” or “My income after taxes is $250,000.”

Once you have these three things you will see that proves your success, get in touch with how it will feel, what people will say about you, and everything else involved in your achievement. Since you want your family to notice you you will want to add comments your family would say to you such as, “I’m proud of you,” “You have really done well,” or “Congratulations.”

Anchoring It In

The last step is to use your affirmation while keeping in mind those marks of achievement with all the feelings and comments from others involved. Do that now. Now touch your thumb to one of your fingers as an anchor to what it is you desire. Throughout the day repeat that statement of achievement keeping in mind the images, words and feelings which accompany it.

Just repeating this statement over and over will do very little. You need to bring with you the visual, auditory and kinesthetic experiences which accompany your accomplishment.

Anchoring in Happiness to Overcome Fear

The Power of Anchoring in Happiness to Overcome Fear

After having completed a week of studying the chapter called “Self-Confidence” in Napoleon Hill’s 1925 edition of The Law of Success, I wanted to present a powerful tool for overcoming fear that was popularized in the latter part of the 20th Century. This tool is one anyone who can touch their body in any way can use. If you make diligent use of this simple little technique you will be able to overcome your fear of success or of failure. The result being that you will be able to achieve your goals.

First Step Is Complex Visualization

I’m sure you have heard of the importance of visualizing your goal to fix them firmly in your mind. Because the of the word “visualization,” people think they only need to form an image. Most don’t realize that fixing your goal firmly in mind also requires the incorporation of all your senses. For instance, if your goal is to have a loving relationship, form a scene in your mind of what that loving relationship would not only look like, but also the sounds, tastes, smells and touches involved. The most powerful addition to your image is your own personal feelings. Be sure and feel the emotions of love, acceptance, joy, desire in this relationship you want.

If your visualization is about money, form an image of all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, emotions and physical sensations of what having money is to you. If being wealthy involves good food and drink, smell the aromas, taste the savory or sweetness of what you put in your mouth, hear the background sounds of wherever you want to be enjoying this meal, feel the texture of the money in your hand, see your bank statement, experience the feelings of security that come with your money.

Second Step is Color

As you can tell, forming your visualization can take some time and, if done with full activation of all your senses, can be rather complex. You gather your total experience and link it to a color. What color represents for you the scene you so completely formed? If you are color blind and can only see shades of grey, choose a part of your image, say a wine glass, tree or twenty dollar bill that can bring to mind the entire scene. See this color or image overlay the deep sensory image you have developed.

Third Step is Anchoring in the Scene

You want a very quick action that anchors in your complex visualization. Your body is an information transmitter. Put information in your body and it will hold it there for you. This is a type of cellular memory. Make use of this power of your body by anchoring in your complex and complete sensory scene you developed. Touch your body while the scene in your mind is at its height with the color or single image you have selected to represent the whole. Bringing your thumb and forefinger together of one hand is what most people use. If you experience paralysis that prevents you from moving your fingers, press your lips together firmly, move your tongue in a particular way or even squeeze your eyes shut. Once you combine the physical anchor with the color or symbolic representation and anchor this into your body with some sort of physical touch, you have what you need to eliminate fear.

Forth Step Is Using the Positive to Extinguish the Fear

Now you are set for a very simple process that, when used regularly, will assist you in get rid of your fear. Note I wrote “simple.” I did not say this is easy. The simple process takes dedication and commitment.

Be sure you are not touching you body using your physical anchor. Now bring to mind your fear. Experience your feelings of fear. Now use your physical anchor, such as bringing your thumb and forefinger together. See the color or symbol you developed to represent your complex scene. Get in touch with all the sensory information of the scene that is positive for you. When the fear is gone, or at a very low level, release your physical anchor and repeat the process.

You can do this if you will make the time and effort to do so.

Self-Confidence Is a Skill You Can Develop

Self-Confidence Is a Skill You Can Develop

People have the mistaken notion that someone either has or doesn’t have self-confidence. They believe you were either born with it or you had parents who instilled it within you by their encouragement and affirmation. Few people realize that self-confidence is also a skill you can develop if you have the determination to work at it. You can develop self-confidence if you will only begin a few simple strategies.

Begin with What You Can Do

I am reminded of my high school chemistry teacher. It was time for mid-term exams and, being the scared 17-year old students we were, we were terrified of failing our exams. After all, we knew that chemistry was difficult. We also knew that our teacher demanded excellence from us. What we didn’t realize was how much he wanted us to succeed and how much he wanted us to know we could succeed. No, he didn’t give us an easy exam anyone could pass. What he did was start us off with a question that any of use should know. I still remember it. “How many centimeters to an inch?” (The answer, by the way, is 2.54.) You could feel the self-confidence rising in the room as each person read and answered that question.

We asked him later why he started the test with such a simple question. He told us how he’d learned that starting off an exam with a question everyone should know broke through the fear that could prevent the student from accessing the knowledge locked up in their head. When we realized we could answer these first questions we would relax. The fear would dissolve, self-confidence would rise and he would learn what we really knew rather than discover what our fear would prevent us from recalling.

If you don’t think you have self-confidence, you need to realize that self-confidence is a matter of the mind. It has little to do with what your actual skills are. Every person knows at least someone who believes s/he is great at something but is actually mediocre. You can’t convince that person of their actual lack of ability because they believe with all their being they are good at what they do.

Practice What You Can Do and Add Affirmations and Emotion to Your Actions

Let’s say you play the guitar and would like to have the self-confidence to play it publicly, but your fears of people deriding you keep you from taking the risk. While you’re practicing your guitar, notice how your fingers easily make the chords. Each time you make an easy transition congratulate yourself. If you say to yourself, “Anyone could do that,” know that you are not telling the truth. If you walked down the street and asked the first hundred people if they knew how to play the guitar, how many would say “Yes”? You can do something only a small percentage of the people in the world can do. Affirm yourself every time you succeed while you are practicing.

Your next step is to play in front of a few people, family or friends. You might already to this. They might even tell you that you are good. What do you do with what they say? If you don’t have self-confidence, you most likely don’t believe them. Take a risk and believe them. Make their positive comments an affirmation for you that you repeat to yourself. Get in touch with your feelings of joy and delight as you play. Get in touch with what an emotional rush it would be to hear people hooting and hollering their delight when you play.

You may not play the guitar. Pick something you do well. It doesn’t matter what it is. Perhaps you’re one of the top scorers in a particular video game. Break down the skills and dexterity it takes to play video games. Tell yourself how good you are at each skill. Notice how that particular skill can be used in other areas of your life as well.

You will become self-confident when you notice and affirm what it is you do well. You simply need to want self-confidence more than you want to stay mired in self-doubt.


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