Fear of Failure: How to Push through Fear

Fear of Failure

What is the Fear of Failure

Have you ever had that gut-wrenching fear of failure tie you in knots?

If you define success by the inner quality of feeling proud of your accomplishments, I believe everyone wants to be successful.

Many people who look outwardly successful have an emotional program of fear of failure running in the background of their lives.

For successful people this fear propels them forward. They do everything they can to be sure failure doesn’t catch up to them. The problem is they will make decisions based upon what they don’t want to happen. In other words, they are always looking in the rear view mirror attempting to outrun failure rather than looking ahead to the successful outcome of their actions.

The “rear view mirror” outlook is not a pleasant one. There is a vague, and sometimes profound feeling of discontent and anxiety that failure will overtake them. They “see” in their mind’s eye all they have accomplished laying in shards around their feet.

This is not happiness. There is no Joy in focusing on outrunning that which you are attempting to avoid. There will always be this dissatisfaction driving them to the next activity so they can feel secure, successful. The problem is that as long as the fear of failure is what drives them, there is no safety, no security.

Depending upon how strong the fear is, judgment can be clouded resulting in bad decisions made impulsively. This can make the fear a reality.

The Power of Focusing on Success

Runners are told to never look back and see who might be catching up with them. That second of changing their focus from the finish line slows them down enough where the person one-step behind could pull ahead.

Always focus ahead.

When you’re focusing on success you’re not imagining what you do which can go wrong. You’re focusing on those actions which will move you forward.

This is huge when you realize the role of your subconscious mind in failure or success.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t care whether you fail or succeed. That’s because it only does what it thinks you want it to do. If you are holding failure in your mind, that’s what you subconscious mind thinks you want. It will do everything it can to make that happen for you.

Ahh, but if you hold success in mind, then that is where your subconscious mind will lead you.

Align Your Subconscious Mind with Success

Let’s look at some ways to get your subconscious mind on board with what you want.

Define Success

You have to realize your subconscious mind is concrete. It doesn’t deal in abstracts. If  you say you want to succeed and then move into fear by imagining all that can go wrong, then that is how your subconscious mind will define success. Not what you want!

Give your subconscious mind actual cues of what success means to you.

Vision BoardsRoad to success

This is easy and it’s fun. You may have heard about constructing a vision board. That’s where you cut out
pictures and words and put them on a poster board. The very process of looking for images and sayings of what you wants assists your subconscious mind in knowing what you want.

Post your vision board where you can see it. But, don’t just look at it. Imagine your are experiencing every one of those things on your vision board. If you put a boat on your board then feel yourself on it, the wind in your face, the warmth of the sun. Feel the joy!

Mental Images

These are mental vision boards. I suggest you have several. I’ll tell you why in a moment.

Construct a mental success image now. Yep, right now. It won’t take long.

What do you want to accomplish? See you accomplishing it. If you want to run and complete a marathon, see yourself crossing the finish line. Hear people cheering your success. Feel the sweat dripping down your body and the smile on your face. Feel the emotion of success. Revel in that emotion of success. Hear what people say to you about your success. Hear you congratulating your success.

Now form another mental success image. Perhaps it’s learning a craft. My example will be making jewelry. Bring to mind a piece you’d like to make. Feel the completed gorgeous piece in your hands. Hear people ohh and ahh when seeing it. Again, feel that satisfaction in your body.

Everyday bring to mind these mental images in all their sensory detail. Tell your subconscious mind, “This is success.” Then go into the image, feelings, sounds, tastes and smells.

Use these images any time fear of failure rears it’s ugly self-confidence draining ugly head. Tell that fear, “Liar. This is where I’m going.” Then bring those images to mind.

You can do this. Get rid of the rear view mirror and move forward to success!

I’m cheering you on.

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Napoleon Hill and Persistence

Napoleon Hill and Persistence

I am in the midst of a delightful task. I’m editing a book by a man who is sharing his lifelong adventure in achieving his goals. I love the stories and the history behind them. When he has it published I’ll let you know about it. The topic of his book is covered in the rest of this short post

If you’re not familiar with Napoleon Hill then I’m going to assume you’re just beginning to learn how to expand and get what it is you want in life. If you aren’t new, but haven’t heard of him, then you’re in for a treat. His most famous book is Think and Grow Rich. It’s a distillation of his much larger book The Law of Success in 16 Lessons.

We live in a society in which the technology of today has imprinted upon us that everything we want must come immediately. Food comes out of fast food restaurants or microwaves at home, you can text someone for an immediate answer, you can find almost any answer by using your search engine.

This “instant gratification” has spilled over into our educational system and work environment. Kids think they should be able to get the grades they want without doing the work needed. Young people coming out of college believe they should be hired for a job that requires 10 years experience. Almost everyone seems to forgotten that it takes time to learn new skills and achieve the goals you want.

Today I want to focus on one of Napoleon Hill’s quotes. “Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”

When you learn any new skill it takes time. You are engaging your brain and your body. They have to learn to work together. Each time you practice there are electrical impulses which form tracings, or roadway, in your brain. It’s important to be patient while waiting for everything to come together so that you can learn your skill. Once you learn, and keep practicing, you will get better and better. If you want to be the best at what you do, count on spending about 10 years to become a master in your chosen area.

You don’t have to be number one in order to accomplish anything. If you’re learning how to set up a webpage all you need are step-by-step directions, the patience to follow them and the persistence to keep doing what you’re doing.  If you keep following this process, what would have taken you 100 hours to accomplish you could get down to 10 depending upon the project.

Not everyone wants to be the top in their field. They simply want to be good. There is certainly nothing wrong with being “just” good at what you do. If you have a passion for something, be it a hobby or an area of work, you will naturally be drawn into learning more and practicing more. Because you’ll be having such a great time following your passion, one day you’ll become aware of how good you are. In fact, you’ll be better than most.

there are number of things I enjoy doing but I’m not particularly good at, at least when compared to other people. Video games is one of these areas. I was playing a Harry Potter Lego video game with my seven-year-old great-nephew. Let’s just say that he beat the socks off of me, as they would say. my favorite “pass the time” game I play on the computer is Bejeweled 3. I’m sure most of my little nieces and nephews could beat me at that also, that my purpose and playing it is not to be excellent at it. It’s to relax.

I’m a writer in a healing facilitator by profession. These are very important to me. I want to master these areas. That means I practice and practice and practice, with some timeout for more education, and then practice some more. I don’t want to be just good in these areas. I want to be excellent.

What is the most important thing to you in your life? Your answer tells you what it is you need to focus on. This is where you keep working, keep learning, keep practicing and never give up. Don’t worry about how much time it takes. Time will pass. You can either accomplish something with it or look back and wonder why you didn’t do anything of value to you.

 

 

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

The major reason clients come into my office is to assist them in becoming successful in life. They asked me, “What can I do? Are there some affirmations I can use which can help me become successful in my field?” Yes, of course there are. There is something even more important than affirmations for success. This is believing in yourself.
The Combination of Words and Action
Just minutes ago I was working with the man who is extremely talented. He will soon have his doctorate, he’s an excellent writer, he has tremendous insight into his field. There is one thing he does not have. That is the self-confidence to do what he needs to do to reach his ultimate goal.
I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him. It doesn’t matter if you have self-confidence. It only matters that you have a plan and you follow it. When you follow one at a time the steps you have outlined, you will gain self-confidence on the way.
Stating affirmations does you absolutely no good if you do not couple them with action. when you combine positive statements with taking the steps necessary to move forward your entire being comes into alignment moving you to what you want to accomplish.
You can have all the gasoline you want in a car, but if you do not turn the key it will not move forward. The same is true for positive affirmations. Think of these statements that you make as the gasoline to your car. Taking action is turning the key so that it all comes together. When you combine the repetition of what you want to become beliefs to guide your life with the action necessary to accomplish your goal, you will gain self-confidence. And with that you will become successful in your career and other areas of life.
Putting Together Postive Statements with Powerful Imaging
I’m going to give you two sets of affirmations. The first has to do with believing in yourself. The second has to do with success in your career. I’m assuming here that you know what it is you want to be going.
Remember you have to combine words with action. In this case, I want you to incorporate the power of your mind. Do this by imagining yourself being or doing what the affirmations states. After doing this exercise, take the first step necessary to manifest your goal. This could be picking up the phone, taking a course, or some other necessary step. Just be sure it move  you forward and is not just spinning your wheels, so to speak.
To Increase Self-Confidence
  1. I have unlimited potential.
  2. My very being radiates competence and confidence.
  3. I am excited about life and the possibilities available.

To Attract Success in Your Career

  1. I have the ability to become competent and capable in any area of expertise I apply myself.
  2. I attract to me the perfect career, at the perfect salary with the perfect benefits for me.
  3. Every decision I make leads me directly to the achievement of my career goals.
Summary
Each time you repeat any of these statements imagine yourself being what you have just said. Believe in yourself and follow your plan.

Anchoring in Happiness to Overcome Fear

The Power of Anchoring in Happiness to Overcome Fear

After having completed a week of studying the chapter called “Self-Confidence” in Napoleon Hill’s 1925 edition of The Law of Success, I wanted to present a powerful tool for overcoming fear that was popularized in the latter part of the 20th Century. This tool is one anyone who can touch their body in any way can use. If you make diligent use of this simple little technique you will be able to overcome your fear of success or of failure. The result being that you will be able to achieve your goals.

First Step Is Complex Visualization

I’m sure you have heard of the importance of visualizing your goal to fix them firmly in your mind. Because the of the word “visualization,” people think they only need to form an image. Most don’t realize that fixing your goal firmly in mind also requires the incorporation of all your senses. For instance, if your goal is to have a loving relationship, form a scene in your mind of what that loving relationship would not only look like, but also the sounds, tastes, smells and touches involved. The most powerful addition to your image is your own personal feelings. Be sure and feel the emotions of love, acceptance, joy, desire in this relationship you want.

If your visualization is about money, form an image of all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, emotions and physical sensations of what having money is to you. If being wealthy involves good food and drink, smell the aromas, taste the savory or sweetness of what you put in your mouth, hear the background sounds of wherever you want to be enjoying this meal, feel the texture of the money in your hand, see your bank statement, experience the feelings of security that come with your money.

Second Step is Color

As you can tell, forming your visualization can take some time and, if done with full activation of all your senses, can be rather complex. You gather your total experience and link it to a color. What color represents for you the scene you so completely formed? If you are color blind and can only see shades of grey, choose a part of your image, say a wine glass, tree or twenty dollar bill that can bring to mind the entire scene. See this color or image overlay the deep sensory image you have developed.

Third Step is Anchoring in the Scene

You want a very quick action that anchors in your complex visualization. Your body is an information transmitter. Put information in your body and it will hold it there for you. This is a type of cellular memory. Make use of this power of your body by anchoring in your complex and complete sensory scene you developed. Touch your body while the scene in your mind is at its height with the color or single image you have selected to represent the whole. Bringing your thumb and forefinger together of one hand is what most people use. If you experience paralysis that prevents you from moving your fingers, press your lips together firmly, move your tongue in a particular way or even squeeze your eyes shut. Once you combine the physical anchor with the color or symbolic representation and anchor this into your body with some sort of physical touch, you have what you need to eliminate fear.

Forth Step Is Using the Positive to Extinguish the Fear

Now you are set for a very simple process that, when used regularly, will assist you in get rid of your fear. Note I wrote “simple.” I did not say this is easy. The simple process takes dedication and commitment.

Be sure you are not touching you body using your physical anchor. Now bring to mind your fear. Experience your feelings of fear. Now use your physical anchor, such as bringing your thumb and forefinger together. See the color or symbol you developed to represent your complex scene. Get in touch with all the sensory information of the scene that is positive for you. When the fear is gone, or at a very low level, release your physical anchor and repeat the process.

You can do this if you will make the time and effort to do so.

Self-Confidence Is a Skill You Can Develop

Self-Confidence Is a Skill You Can Develop

People have the mistaken notion that someone either has or doesn’t have self-confidence. They believe you were either born with it or you had parents who instilled it within you by their encouragement and affirmation. Few people realize that self-confidence is also a skill you can develop if you have the determination to work at it. You can develop self-confidence if you will only begin a few simple strategies.

Begin with What You Can Do

I am reminded of my high school chemistry teacher. It was time for mid-term exams and, being the scared 17-year old students we were, we were terrified of failing our exams. After all, we knew that chemistry was difficult. We also knew that our teacher demanded excellence from us. What we didn’t realize was how much he wanted us to succeed and how much he wanted us to know we could succeed. No, he didn’t give us an easy exam anyone could pass. What he did was start us off with a question that any of use should know. I still remember it. “How many centimeters to an inch?” (The answer, by the way, is 2.54.) You could feel the self-confidence rising in the room as each person read and answered that question.

We asked him later why he started the test with such a simple question. He told us how he’d learned that starting off an exam with a question everyone should know broke through the fear that could prevent the student from accessing the knowledge locked up in their head. When we realized we could answer these first questions we would relax. The fear would dissolve, self-confidence would rise and he would learn what we really knew rather than discover what our fear would prevent us from recalling.

If you don’t think you have self-confidence, you need to realize that self-confidence is a matter of the mind. It has little to do with what your actual skills are. Every person knows at least someone who believes s/he is great at something but is actually mediocre. You can’t convince that person of their actual lack of ability because they believe with all their being they are good at what they do.

Practice What You Can Do and Add Affirmations and Emotion to Your Actions

Let’s say you play the guitar and would like to have the self-confidence to play it publicly, but your fears of people deriding you keep you from taking the risk. While you’re practicing your guitar, notice how your fingers easily make the chords. Each time you make an easy transition congratulate yourself. If you say to yourself, “Anyone could do that,” know that you are not telling the truth. If you walked down the street and asked the first hundred people if they knew how to play the guitar, how many would say “Yes”? You can do something only a small percentage of the people in the world can do. Affirm yourself every time you succeed while you are practicing.

Your next step is to play in front of a few people, family or friends. You might already to this. They might even tell you that you are good. What do you do with what they say? If you don’t have self-confidence, you most likely don’t believe them. Take a risk and believe them. Make their positive comments an affirmation for you that you repeat to yourself. Get in touch with your feelings of joy and delight as you play. Get in touch with what an emotional rush it would be to hear people hooting and hollering their delight when you play.

You may not play the guitar. Pick something you do well. It doesn’t matter what it is. Perhaps you’re one of the top scorers in a particular video game. Break down the skills and dexterity it takes to play video games. Tell yourself how good you are at each skill. Notice how that particular skill can be used in other areas of your life as well.

You will become self-confident when you notice and affirm what it is you do well. You simply need to want self-confidence more than you want to stay mired in self-doubt.

Everything You Need to Succeed Is Within You

Everything You Need to Succeed Is Within You

People come to see me because they feel stuck and need some help. They may be attracted by the tools I use such as The BodyTalk System, PSYCH-K, Soul Healing and other tools. They are powerful tools, but they are all devised to bring the person recognize the only one who can really help them… and it’s not me.

My job is to assist the client in looking within and finding the power that is already there. By the time the individual comes for assistance, he or she has experienced many incidents of what is interpreted as failure by themselves or others. Some of this supposed failure is in the realm of accomplishment in school and jobs. Other failures, which are the most debilitating, revolve around not being the person he or she wants to be. Everyone, if honest with him or herself, has had these times. When this happens there is a great reluctance to look at oneself in the mirror.

Are you one of those people struggling to get beyond a history of personal failures? Are you one of those who is afraid or ashamed to look yourself in the eye and tell the truth about yourself?

Personal Truth is Not What You Think

When people talk about being honest with themselves, they are usually referring to admitting their faults and character defects. It is important to acknowledge where you have been in your life and what, within you, has put you where you are. Once you accept your personal accountability, you then need to move away from your failures and do a different inventory of yourself. You must, and I do mean must, look deep within and find the gifts and talents you have. The abilities you have within you are what will move you from where you are to what you want to be.

Napoleon Hill, in the 1925 version of The Law of Success, tells the true story of a man who went from homelessness to being the president of a multinational company simply by accepting that his power was within him – and then gathering that power to move him forward to where he wanted to go. If you wish to succeed, you must look yourself squarely in the eye and accept your total responsibility for what has happened in your life. If you blame your current situation on forces outside of yourself, no matter what difficulties or horrors have happened in your life, then you will never move forward in life. If, however, you accept the responsibility for your responses to what has happened to you, you then know that you have the ability to respond to life’s situations in a different manner. When you respond differently then you will be in a different place.

Your Personal Inventory of Strengths

Take out a piece of paper and write down something you do well. It doesn’t matter how mundane you believe that “something” is. It could be your ability to cross the street safely. Now list at least 10 characteristics within you that assist you in performing that action. For instance, if you choose crossing the street safely, you could list: being aware of my environment, the desire to stay alive, evaluation of the speed of vehicles, knowing how fast I move, the ability to judge distances. What are other characteristics that assist you in walking across the street safely?

Do this little exercise on several different activities you do. Notice the characteristics which show up more than once. These are the characteristics you have within you which, when activated consciously, will move you from where you are now to a place of success.

There is no one who can turn you into a success. You can have ten different coaches, but if you don’t accept responsibility and take action, you will never move to where you desire to be.

The Mastery of Fear

The Mastery of Fear

The Mastery of Fear can be a wonderful emotion that keeps you alive. It is fear which has you react quickly and without thought when there is an on-coming car. Your instincts take over and, without thought or analysis, you move quickly out of the way of danger. As much as fear can keep you alive, it can also freeze you into inaction. You can become so terrified you will be hurt in some way that you refuse to take risks and try new things. In this situation fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.

False Evidence

When your mind runs wild with the danger of taking a particular action, you are convincing yourself of something you have no evidence will actually happen. Let’s say you’re interested in mountain climbing but you’re terrified you’ll fall and either die or be severely hurt. True, this has happened to many people, but not to as many as you might think. The news takes great relish in furiously reporting death and destruction. It rarely reports life and excitement, unless it’s involving a national or college sports team.

How many people do you know who have successfully climbed the 55 fourteeners (14,000+ foot high peaks) in Colorado? I have no idea, but I did a quick internet search using the keywords, “climbing the 14000 foot mountains of Colorado.” There were 774,000 results with the top ones containing a tremendous amount of information of the 14ers, the moniker used by one web site. If you have a desire to climb, are you going to be paralyzed by the negative of what might happen or by the positive accomplishments of tens of thousands of people who regularly climb?

By researching you can learn the definite danger spots of climbing mountains, or any other endeavor for that matter, and form a plan to overcome them. All you need is education, a plan of action, the right equipment or tools, and the desire to move forward.

Appearing Real

When your self-talk is negative, you are training your brain to be afraid. You’ve heard the saying, “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” (This came from the movie “The Fly” with Jeff Goldbloom.) Although, the actual intent of the slogan was humorous, your negative self-talk is training your mind to be in a state of fear. You would protect yourself more by being wary of what you can do to yourself through your thoughts and beliefs than fearing whatever effect an action you take can have. When you combine the power of your emotions with thoughts, you form a chemical bond which imprints upon your brain. Your thoughts plus emotion can form a loop which is difficult to break out of. Use positive feelings with positive thoughts and you will move further in life in one year than you have ever done before.

Your brain and your mental abilities are amazing. Science is just beginning to seriously study the power of the combination of your thoughts plus your emotions. We are learning that the thought plus emotion combo fools your brain into believing that what you are thinking of is real. When you combine emotions of fear with thoughts of “I can’t do this or something bad will happen,” your brain believes it is real. You’ve just created for yourselfFalse Evidence Appearing Real.

Napoleon Hill in “The Law of Success” talks about how the enemy of progress is fear. It can immobilize you if you let it. It can prevent you from accessing the power residing within you to fulfill your dreams. It will quench the passion which fuels your action.

The promise in the power you have within you if you only allow it to bloom, is that by controlling what you think and feel, and that includes fear and thoughts of fear, you can accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible.


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