What You See May Not Be Reality
You may know people who seem to be brimming with self-confidence. Recognize that you can observe what they’re doing, not what they’re feeling. It’s possible their insides don’t match their outsides. You can learn to trust in yourself even when you aren’t filled with self-confidence.
Back when I was in the convent, I was in charge of a particular function. The next day someone complimented me on how much confidence I exhibited. She wished she was like me.
I could have laughed out loud. Today, I would have. Back then, I wasn’t going to let anyone know how terrified I had been.
Having confidence in yourself is about trusting yourself, trusting that you’ll be able to handle the job, whatever job that is.
You may have a difficult time trusting yourself and wonder if you’ll ever be able to. Don’t think you’re alone in your self-doubts. Not trusting yourself seems to be ingrained in the human condition. It’s something many experience and find difficult to overcome.
Learn to Trust
The first thing to recognize is that comparing how you’re feeling with how someone looks like they’re feeling is a false comparison. Someone may look confident when they are, in reality, shivering inside.
Did you know that Barbra Streisand, Adele, and Rihanna all suffer from stage fright? Adele was so scared she once projectile vomited onto a member of the audience.
Even if you have fear, have faith in your accomplishments. Own them. If you’re a great singer, trust in your ability. Practice and prepare. Then trust your skills.
Trust your instincts, your gut. No, you won’t always be right, but, if you keep track, you’ll find that you’re right more often than not. Every time you trust yourself and you’re right, you’ll become more self-confident. As you gain in confidence, you’ll have more of those intuitive hits making life easier.
The Role of Others in Self-Trust
You have three types of people: those who don’t care one way or the other about you, those who’ll cheer you on, and then those who’ll be negative.
Don’t try to please those who don’t care. Accept them.
Find people who will be your cheering squad. I’m not talking about people who will cheer you blindly along your way when you need a little direction. Find those who cheer and will also let you know when you’re heading the wrong way. These folks will build your trust in yourself.
There will also be the nay-sayers. Unfortunately, your tendency may be to pay more attention to them than is necessary. Work at filtering out negative information. Focus on the positive in your life. Listen to those you trust. Avoid negative people. They take delight in bringing down people just because they can.
Have Faith in Yourself
Trusting yourself may require a leap of faith. Take some thoughtful chances. Keep track of your accomplishments. Learn from mistakes and focus on where you’re going.
You are your greatest asset, and a wonderful asset you are.