Affirmations and “Laziness”

Affirmations and Laziness

Has anyone told you you are lazy? Perhaps you’ve told yourself that many times. You can use positive affirmations to move yourself past your reluctance or inability to take action. But first, let’s look at what might be behind the supposedly laziness.
How Fear Impedes Action
Most people others call lazy actually have deep-seated fears. Some of the most common ones are fear of:
  • responsibility
  • failure
  • success (which often is related to responsibility)
  • being different
  • being separated from friends and family

Any fear you have is based upon the belief that what you are contemplating doing is unsafe. Your acquired these beliefs when you when you were very young. Almost all of them originated before you were the age of five.

When you were little you may have been punished or made fun of when you initiated something. Perhaps you started a game and someone was angry because you woke up Mom or Dad.  You might have a desire to be an artist but the rest of your family is into sports or business. Your passion may take you away from loved ones and the security of home and friends.

It’s important to take time to recognize your fears. You might even have a fear of knowing what your fear is! That’s a never ending circle, isn’t it.

How Not Knowing Impedes Action

Many people appear to have a lack of ambition simply because they don’t know what they would like to do with their life. They haven’t found their passion yet. They haven’t discovered what it is that will motivate them to do something more than they are doing now.

If someone appears to be a dedicated couch potato, you can be sure that if there is a fire they will get moving. Having passion calls for having an activity which ignites the fire within to find a goal and follow through with it.

Usually fear of making the wrong choice interferes with discovering something the person is passionate about. Those who have always been excited about something in life or who have always known what they wanted to do when they were adults have a difficult time understanding anyone who can’t find themselves.

I was blessed with knowing what I wanted to do. I studied psychology, have three degrees in it, and still enjoy learning about the field. I’m the only one in my family of origin who is doing what they initially studied. Many of my nieces, nephews and their children also took a few years to figure out what they wanted to do.

Not knowing what you want to do can be disconcerting, but it is nothing to be ashamed of. If someone tries to shovel shame on you, don’t take it! You can’t find your passion if you have shame clinging to you.

How Affirmations Help

People who appear lazy often repeat the same statements, “I don’t want to,” “I can’t,” “I’m not interested,” or other self-limiting beliefs. Each time a limiting belief is repeated, it reinforces the limitation. When you use positive affirmations, positive statements, you are counteracting the limiting belief. You are also beginning to construct a new pathway in your brain which will open you to different possibilities.

Suggestions to Move You Forward

If you want to change, you have to take action. This begins by changing the messages you give yourself.

Changed the “I can’t” to “I can.” Follow that up with doing something different that you know you can do. It can be as simple as walking around the block.

You might want to replace “I don’t want to” with “I want to find out what I enjoy.” Follow that with the action of listing three things you enjoy doing. Then repeat to yourself, “I am discovering what I truly want to do with my life.”

If the difficulty is that you are afraid, take a deep breath, hold it for a count of four, and then exhale as much as you can. Follow that with the positive affirmation, “I have the necessary courage to overcome my fears.”

Whatever limiting affirmation you are repeating, turn it around. Develop affirmations which open you to limitless possibilities.

Jumped Starting the Subconscious

Every time you use a positive statement rather than a limiting one, you are opening your subconscious mind to a different possibility in life. When you use limiting words, your subconscious mind wants to support those words. When you use words opening you to possibility, your subconscious mind wants to support you in that area.

Not only the words need to be open to possibility, but also your attitude. You could ask, “Why” with an attitude of anger which closes off getting the answer. When you attitude is one of wanting to know the answer, your subconscious mind says, “Oh, you really want to know? Let’s look for the answer.”

Developing affirmations take some skill. Once you learn how to do it, you’re on your way. Just remember to put your whole self into them as I talked about in the last post.

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

The major reason clients come into my office is to assist them in becoming successful in life. They asked me, “What can I do? Are there some affirmations I can use which can help me become successful in my field?” Yes, of course there are. There is something even more important than affirmations for success. This is believing in yourself.
The Combination of Words and Action
Just minutes ago I was working with the man who is extremely talented. He will soon have his doctorate, he’s an excellent writer, he has tremendous insight into his field. There is one thing he does not have. That is the self-confidence to do what he needs to do to reach his ultimate goal.
I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him. It doesn’t matter if you have self-confidence. It only matters that you have a plan and you follow it. When you follow one at a time the steps you have outlined, you will gain self-confidence on the way.
Stating affirmations does you absolutely no good if you do not couple them with action. when you combine positive statements with taking the steps necessary to move forward your entire being comes into alignment moving you to what you want to accomplish.
You can have all the gasoline you want in a car, but if you do not turn the key it will not move forward. The same is true for positive affirmations. Think of these statements that you make as the gasoline to your car. Taking action is turning the key so that it all comes together. When you combine the repetition of what you want to become beliefs to guide your life with the action necessary to accomplish your goal, you will gain self-confidence. And with that you will become successful in your career and other areas of life.
Putting Together Postive Statements with Powerful Imaging
I’m going to give you two sets of affirmations. The first has to do with believing in yourself. The second has to do with success in your career. I’m assuming here that you know what it is you want to be going.
Remember you have to combine words with action. In this case, I want you to incorporate the power of your mind. Do this by imagining yourself being or doing what the affirmations states. After doing this exercise, take the first step necessary to manifest your goal. This could be picking up the phone, taking a course, or some other necessary step. Just be sure it move  you forward and is not just spinning your wheels, so to speak.
To Increase Self-Confidence
  1. I have unlimited potential.
  2. My very being radiates competence and confidence.
  3. I am excited about life and the possibilities available.

To Attract Success in Your Career

  1. I have the ability to become competent and capable in any area of expertise I apply myself.
  2. I attract to me the perfect career, at the perfect salary with the perfect benefits for me.
  3. Every decision I make leads me directly to the achievement of my career goals.
Summary
Each time you repeat any of these statements imagine yourself being what you have just said. Believe in yourself and follow your plan.

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Affirmations are simple positive statements you make which reinforce something in your life. These statements can be about what you would like to have, such as riches and fame, or the type of person you would like to be, such as loving or assertive. You can always go to your favorite search engine and find affirmations particular to your situation. The best, however, are those you develop for yourself. Here is a simple process in which you can do this.

Identify What You Want

Many people believe this is very easy. You may think you want riches, but you would really like is security. When you say you want success, you may actually desire a parental approval.

To discover what you truly want in life keep repeating the same question. That question is, “And what will that get me?”

For instance, you say you want a particular type of house in a specific neighborhood. Ask, “And what will that get me?”. An answer might be, “It’ll prove I’m successful.” Now ask, “And what will that get me?” This time you might say, “People will notice me.” Repeat the process. You might get, “People will look up to me.” Keep doing this until you get a sort of ah-ha internal experience. Then you know this is truly what you want.

Develop Your Positive Statement

Now that you know your true desire put it in a positive statement using present tense. An example, “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” If you follow the process above, this affirmation may be exactly what it is that you truly want. Yes, you may still have that house in mind, but that comes later in the process.

If you get your house, but don’t get what you truly want, you will still feel dissatisfied and empty. The key is to  uncover your deepest yearnings. When those are fulfilled you will experience joy and completion.

Identify How You Will  Know You Have What You Most Want

This process actually works with your subconscious mind. It is your subconscious mind which silently guides and directs you by means of what it believes you want to happen in your life. Your subconscious mind is concrete, not abstract. It doesn’t deal in feelings (unless you tell it what those feelings mean), but black-and-white statements. You have to tell it what you mean by what you say. This is where that house you have your eye on comes in.

How will you know when you have achieved,  “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” List three things you will see in your life when the statement, “My family notices my success and congratulates me” is fulfilled. This is where you put things such as, “I have a house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms built to my specifications on an acre of land next to the water,” “My children attend an elite private school and are at the top of their class,” or “My income after taxes is $250,000.”

Once you have these three things you will see that proves your success, get in touch with how it will feel, what people will say about you, and everything else involved in your achievement. Since you want your family to notice you you will want to add comments your family would say to you such as, “I’m proud of you,” “You have really done well,” or “Congratulations.”

Anchoring It In

The last step is to use your affirmation while keeping in mind those marks of achievement with all the feelings and comments from others involved. Do that now. Now touch your thumb to one of your fingers as an anchor to what it is you desire. Throughout the day repeat that statement of achievement keeping in mind the images, words and feelings which accompany it.

Just repeating this statement over and over will do very little. You need to bring with you the visual, auditory and kinesthetic experiences which accompany your accomplishment.

Self-Confidence Is a Skill You Can Develop

Self-Confidence Is a Skill You Can Develop

People have the mistaken notion that someone either has or doesn’t have self-confidence. They believe you were either born with it or you had parents who instilled it within you by their encouragement and affirmation. Few people realize that self-confidence is also a skill you can develop if you have the determination to work at it. You can develop self-confidence if you will only begin a few simple strategies.

Begin with What You Can Do

I am reminded of my high school chemistry teacher. It was time for mid-term exams and, being the scared 17-year old students we were, we were terrified of failing our exams. After all, we knew that chemistry was difficult. We also knew that our teacher demanded excellence from us. What we didn’t realize was how much he wanted us to succeed and how much he wanted us to know we could succeed. No, he didn’t give us an easy exam anyone could pass. What he did was start us off with a question that any of use should know. I still remember it. “How many centimeters to an inch?” (The answer, by the way, is 2.54.) You could feel the self-confidence rising in the room as each person read and answered that question.

We asked him later why he started the test with such a simple question. He told us how he’d learned that starting off an exam with a question everyone should know broke through the fear that could prevent the student from accessing the knowledge locked up in their head. When we realized we could answer these first questions we would relax. The fear would dissolve, self-confidence would rise and he would learn what we really knew rather than discover what our fear would prevent us from recalling.

If you don’t think you have self-confidence, you need to realize that self-confidence is a matter of the mind. It has little to do with what your actual skills are. Every person knows at least someone who believes s/he is great at something but is actually mediocre. You can’t convince that person of their actual lack of ability because they believe with all their being they are good at what they do.

Practice What You Can Do and Add Affirmations and Emotion to Your Actions

Let’s say you play the guitar and would like to have the self-confidence to play it publicly, but your fears of people deriding you keep you from taking the risk. While you’re practicing your guitar, notice how your fingers easily make the chords. Each time you make an easy transition congratulate yourself. If you say to yourself, “Anyone could do that,” know that you are not telling the truth. If you walked down the street and asked the first hundred people if they knew how to play the guitar, how many would say “Yes”? You can do something only a small percentage of the people in the world can do. Affirm yourself every time you succeed while you are practicing.

Your next step is to play in front of a few people, family or friends. You might already to this. They might even tell you that you are good. What do you do with what they say? If you don’t have self-confidence, you most likely don’t believe them. Take a risk and believe them. Make their positive comments an affirmation for you that you repeat to yourself. Get in touch with your feelings of joy and delight as you play. Get in touch with what an emotional rush it would be to hear people hooting and hollering their delight when you play.

You may not play the guitar. Pick something you do well. It doesn’t matter what it is. Perhaps you’re one of the top scorers in a particular video game. Break down the skills and dexterity it takes to play video games. Tell yourself how good you are at each skill. Notice how that particular skill can be used in other areas of your life as well.

You will become self-confident when you notice and affirm what it is you do well. You simply need to want self-confidence more than you want to stay mired in self-doubt.

Everything You Need to Succeed Is Within You

Everything You Need to Succeed Is Within You

People come to see me because they feel stuck and need some help. They may be attracted by the tools I use such as The BodyTalk System, PSYCH-K, Soul Healing and other tools. They are powerful tools, but they are all devised to bring the person recognize the only one who can really help them… and it’s not me.

My job is to assist the client in looking within and finding the power that is already there. By the time the individual comes for assistance, he or she has experienced many incidents of what is interpreted as failure by themselves or others. Some of this supposed failure is in the realm of accomplishment in school and jobs. Other failures, which are the most debilitating, revolve around not being the person he or she wants to be. Everyone, if honest with him or herself, has had these times. When this happens there is a great reluctance to look at oneself in the mirror.

Are you one of those people struggling to get beyond a history of personal failures? Are you one of those who is afraid or ashamed to look yourself in the eye and tell the truth about yourself?

Personal Truth is Not What You Think

When people talk about being honest with themselves, they are usually referring to admitting their faults and character defects. It is important to acknowledge where you have been in your life and what, within you, has put you where you are. Once you accept your personal accountability, you then need to move away from your failures and do a different inventory of yourself. You must, and I do mean must, look deep within and find the gifts and talents you have. The abilities you have within you are what will move you from where you are to what you want to be.

Napoleon Hill, in the 1925 version of The Law of Success, tells the true story of a man who went from homelessness to being the president of a multinational company simply by accepting that his power was within him – and then gathering that power to move him forward to where he wanted to go. If you wish to succeed, you must look yourself squarely in the eye and accept your total responsibility for what has happened in your life. If you blame your current situation on forces outside of yourself, no matter what difficulties or horrors have happened in your life, then you will never move forward in life. If, however, you accept the responsibility for your responses to what has happened to you, you then know that you have the ability to respond to life’s situations in a different manner. When you respond differently then you will be in a different place.

Your Personal Inventory of Strengths

Take out a piece of paper and write down something you do well. It doesn’t matter how mundane you believe that “something” is. It could be your ability to cross the street safely. Now list at least 10 characteristics within you that assist you in performing that action. For instance, if you choose crossing the street safely, you could list: being aware of my environment, the desire to stay alive, evaluation of the speed of vehicles, knowing how fast I move, the ability to judge distances. What are other characteristics that assist you in walking across the street safely?

Do this little exercise on several different activities you do. Notice the characteristics which show up more than once. These are the characteristics you have within you which, when activated consciously, will move you from where you are now to a place of success.

There is no one who can turn you into a success. You can have ten different coaches, but if you don’t accept responsibility and take action, you will never move to where you desire to be.

The Power of Internal Motivation

The Power of Internal Motivation

Setting goals is considered one of the most powerful, if not most powerful technique to assist you in moving forward in your life. Goals provide focus and direction. You are the one who has to find the motivation to move from where you are to your destination.

If you want to move towards a goal you need a reason why. This is called motivation. The ease with which you reach your goal depends upon where your motivation comes from and your attitude regarding that motivation. Let’s talk about two different types of motivation, that which comes from within you and that which is a force from outside of you.

Motivation from Within

When you have an internal drive for accomplishment, you don’t need a force from outside of yourself to move you forward. This passion is the fuel of your movement. It could be a deeply held desire you’ve had for sometime, the love of family, your desire to prove yourself to yourself, or a reason based upon mystical or spiritual experiences. Internal motivation, when it is present, is a force of great strength which can propel you past the difficulties that arise when you move forward in the accomplishment of your goal.

Motivation from Outside

Fear is also a great motivator. Although fear comes from within you, its source comes from outside of you. If you didn’t have the external reason moving you into action, you would no longer be afraid. With the fear gone, your motivation is gone leaving no energy to move you forward. Fear of getting in trouble with the IRS definitely moves me forward in paying my taxes and doing so on time. The problem with something external moving you to action is if it isn’t present you won’t act.

Let’s say you want to succeed to prove to your parents you can do it. You can do this because you love your parents and you want to succeed as a sign of your appreciation for the role they played in your life. That’s a positive motivation that can move you forward even if your parents die before you succeed.

But, what if your internal reason is that you want to prove them wrong about you, that you want to shove your accomplishments in their face? The fuel for your actions is based upon anger. You have to keep that anger going if you want to succeed. Being angry that long is not fun for you and can drive away those around you.

Your Attitude is Crucial

It’s not just the “why” of doing something, it’s also the attitudinal “how” that determines whether you are happy or unhappy during the process of accomplishment. Life can be great fun or it can be filled with pain and turmoil. Everyone’s life has high points and low points. What is going on with you internally, your feelings, will determine whether life is fun or drudgery.

If you want to prove something to someone because you are angry with them, look for another reason to achieve the same goal. Search within you and find the reason for accomplishment that is based upon positive feelings. This could be as simple as you have always wanted to succeed in this area and you would feel a sense of great accomplishment when you have reached your goal. That is internal motivation.

Many people are aimless in life until they fall in love with someone. Suddenly they find the reason for accomplishment. They move forward out of love for another. This is a positive attitude that can lead to joy in life as long as you stay in the energy of love. What happens, however, if that person is gone or that love is gone? What moves you then? That’s why you ultimately have to act upon what you desire and what you want.

Once you are clear on why you want to achieve a particular goal, and you know you want to achieve it for yourself, then you are well on your journey with an internal energy which will sustain you as time goes on.


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