Affirmations and “Laziness”

Affirmations and Laziness

Has anyone told you you are lazy? Perhaps you’ve told yourself that many times. You can use positive affirmations to move yourself past your reluctance or inability to take action. But first, let’s look at what might be behind the supposedly laziness.
How Fear Impedes Action
Most people others call lazy actually have deep-seated fears. Some of the most common ones are fear of:
  • responsibility
  • failure
  • success (which often is related to responsibility)
  • being different
  • being separated from friends and family

Any fear you have is based upon the belief that what you are contemplating doing is unsafe. Your acquired these beliefs when you when you were very young. Almost all of them originated before you were the age of five.

When you were little you may have been punished or made fun of when you initiated something. Perhaps you started a game and someone was angry because you woke up Mom or Dad.  You might have a desire to be an artist but the rest of your family is into sports or business. Your passion may take you away from loved ones and the security of home and friends.

It’s important to take time to recognize your fears. You might even have a fear of knowing what your fear is! That’s a never ending circle, isn’t it.

How Not Knowing Impedes Action

Many people appear to have a lack of ambition simply because they don’t know what they would like to do with their life. They haven’t found their passion yet. They haven’t discovered what it is that will motivate them to do something more than they are doing now.

If someone appears to be a dedicated couch potato, you can be sure that if there is a fire they will get moving. Having passion calls for having an activity which ignites the fire within to find a goal and follow through with it.

Usually fear of making the wrong choice interferes with discovering something the person is passionate about. Those who have always been excited about something in life or who have always known what they wanted to do when they were adults have a difficult time understanding anyone who can’t find themselves.

I was blessed with knowing what I wanted to do. I studied psychology, have three degrees in it, and still enjoy learning about the field. I’m the only one in my family of origin who is doing what they initially studied. Many of my nieces, nephews and their children also took a few years to figure out what they wanted to do.

Not knowing what you want to do can be disconcerting, but it is nothing to be ashamed of. If someone tries to shovel shame on you, don’t take it! You can’t find your passion if you have shame clinging to you.

How Affirmations Help

People who appear lazy often repeat the same statements, “I don’t want to,” “I can’t,” “I’m not interested,” or other self-limiting beliefs. Each time a limiting belief is repeated, it reinforces the limitation. When you use positive affirmations, positive statements, you are counteracting the limiting belief. You are also beginning to construct a new pathway in your brain which will open you to different possibilities.

Suggestions to Move You Forward

If you want to change, you have to take action. This begins by changing the messages you give yourself.

Changed the “I can’t” to “I can.” Follow that up with doing something different that you know you can do. It can be as simple as walking around the block.

You might want to replace “I don’t want to” with “I want to find out what I enjoy.” Follow that with the action of listing three things you enjoy doing. Then repeat to yourself, “I am discovering what I truly want to do with my life.”

If the difficulty is that you are afraid, take a deep breath, hold it for a count of four, and then exhale as much as you can. Follow that with the positive affirmation, “I have the necessary courage to overcome my fears.”

Whatever limiting affirmation you are repeating, turn it around. Develop affirmations which open you to limitless possibilities.

Jumped Starting the Subconscious

Every time you use a positive statement rather than a limiting one, you are opening your subconscious mind to a different possibility in life. When you use limiting words, your subconscious mind wants to support those words. When you use words opening you to possibility, your subconscious mind wants to support you in that area.

Not only the words need to be open to possibility, but also your attitude. You could ask, “Why” with an attitude of anger which closes off getting the answer. When you attitude is one of wanting to know the answer, your subconscious mind says, “Oh, you really want to know? Let’s look for the answer.”

Developing affirmations take some skill. Once you learn how to do it, you’re on your way. Just remember to put your whole self into them as I talked about in the last post.

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Affirmations are simple positive statements you make which reinforce something in your life. These statements can be about what you would like to have, such as riches and fame, or the type of person you would like to be, such as loving or assertive. You can always go to your favorite search engine and find affirmations particular to your situation. The best, however, are those you develop for yourself. Here is a simple process in which you can do this.

Identify What You Want

Many people believe this is very easy. You may think you want riches, but you would really like is security. When you say you want success, you may actually desire a parental approval.

To discover what you truly want in life keep repeating the same question. That question is, “And what will that get me?”

For instance, you say you want a particular type of house in a specific neighborhood. Ask, “And what will that get me?”. An answer might be, “It’ll prove I’m successful.” Now ask, “And what will that get me?” This time you might say, “People will notice me.” Repeat the process. You might get, “People will look up to me.” Keep doing this until you get a sort of ah-ha internal experience. Then you know this is truly what you want.

Develop Your Positive Statement

Now that you know your true desire put it in a positive statement using present tense. An example, “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” If you follow the process above, this affirmation may be exactly what it is that you truly want. Yes, you may still have that house in mind, but that comes later in the process.

If you get your house, but don’t get what you truly want, you will still feel dissatisfied and empty. The key is to  uncover your deepest yearnings. When those are fulfilled you will experience joy and completion.

Identify How You Will  Know You Have What You Most Want

This process actually works with your subconscious mind. It is your subconscious mind which silently guides and directs you by means of what it believes you want to happen in your life. Your subconscious mind is concrete, not abstract. It doesn’t deal in feelings (unless you tell it what those feelings mean), but black-and-white statements. You have to tell it what you mean by what you say. This is where that house you have your eye on comes in.

How will you know when you have achieved,  “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” List three things you will see in your life when the statement, “My family notices my success and congratulates me” is fulfilled. This is where you put things such as, “I have a house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms built to my specifications on an acre of land next to the water,” “My children attend an elite private school and are at the top of their class,” or “My income after taxes is $250,000.”

Once you have these three things you will see that proves your success, get in touch with how it will feel, what people will say about you, and everything else involved in your achievement. Since you want your family to notice you you will want to add comments your family would say to you such as, “I’m proud of you,” “You have really done well,” or “Congratulations.”

Anchoring It In

The last step is to use your affirmation while keeping in mind those marks of achievement with all the feelings and comments from others involved. Do that now. Now touch your thumb to one of your fingers as an anchor to what it is you desire. Throughout the day repeat that statement of achievement keeping in mind the images, words and feelings which accompany it.

Just repeating this statement over and over will do very little. You need to bring with you the visual, auditory and kinesthetic experiences which accompany your accomplishment.

Three Questions to Ask When Establishing Your Definite Purpose

Three Questions to Ask When Establishing Your Definite Purpose I’m sure you know by now that setting specific goals in life is crucial to achieving success. Did you know that there is something you should do before you set those goals? The critical task before establishing your goals is to analyze your desires and motivations and write out what Napoleon Hill in “The Law of Success” calls your Definite Purpose.

In the language of Steven Covey and others in the motivational and success field, Definite Purpose is also known as your Mission Statement. Since I’m studying Napoleon Hill’s “The Law of Success,” I’m going to stick to what he calls Definite Purpose. If you are more familiar and comfortable with the term “Mission Statement,” you can apply what you learn here to what you know about your Mission Statement.

When Napoleon Hill interviewed the successful people of his time, as well as another 15,000 people, he discovered that those who were successful each had a Definite Purpose for their life. Unfortunately, only 5% of the people he interviewed were successful, and of those 5% of those who were successful, 100% of them had a Definite Purpose which guided their lives. This Definite Purpose was in writing where they could see it when they awakened in the morning and before they went to sleep at night. If you want to be successful, then do what successful people do.

There are three questions to ask yourself when establishing your Definite Purpose.

1. Is it constructive?

2. Will it bring hardship or trouble to anyone?

3. Will it bring you peace and prosperity?

Let’s look more closely at these three questions.

Is it constructive could be asked in a few other ways. Does your Definite Purpose contribute in a positive way to the world? Is it something you would be proud to share with anyone you meet? If you believe in an afterlife, would you be excited to share it with those who greet you after you leave your body?

Will it bring hardship or trouble is not talking about simple difficulties in life. Will your Definite Purpose be supportive of others in their lives? You may have as your goal to make millions or billions of dollars, but if you do it in with a ponzi scheme in which people will lose their life savings you have caused hardship and brought suffering to those who trusted you.

Will it bring you peace and prosperity is an internal measure. Being a drug dealer of either street or prescription drugs will not bring you peace. It might bring you money, but prosperity is much more than having money. It is the feeling that every area of your life is full and fulfilled. If you are continually on edge because someone might turn you in to the police, or you will be found out and sent to prison, there is no peace.

Once you set your Definite Purpose and know it satisfies the three questions above, then you can establish goals to move you forward to the fulfillment of what people now call your mission statement. This is your passion and you will be able to keep your desire burning brightly and your motivation alive until it is accomplished.

The Power of Internal Motivation

The Power of Internal Motivation

Setting goals is considered one of the most powerful, if not most powerful technique to assist you in moving forward in your life. Goals provide focus and direction. You are the one who has to find the motivation to move from where you are to your destination.

If you want to move towards a goal you need a reason why. This is called motivation. The ease with which you reach your goal depends upon where your motivation comes from and your attitude regarding that motivation. Let’s talk about two different types of motivation, that which comes from within you and that which is a force from outside of you.

Motivation from Within

When you have an internal drive for accomplishment, you don’t need a force from outside of yourself to move you forward. This passion is the fuel of your movement. It could be a deeply held desire you’ve had for sometime, the love of family, your desire to prove yourself to yourself, or a reason based upon mystical or spiritual experiences. Internal motivation, when it is present, is a force of great strength which can propel you past the difficulties that arise when you move forward in the accomplishment of your goal.

Motivation from Outside

Fear is also a great motivator. Although fear comes from within you, its source comes from outside of you. If you didn’t have the external reason moving you into action, you would no longer be afraid. With the fear gone, your motivation is gone leaving no energy to move you forward. Fear of getting in trouble with the IRS definitely moves me forward in paying my taxes and doing so on time. The problem with something external moving you to action is if it isn’t present you won’t act.

Let’s say you want to succeed to prove to your parents you can do it. You can do this because you love your parents and you want to succeed as a sign of your appreciation for the role they played in your life. That’s a positive motivation that can move you forward even if your parents die before you succeed.

But, what if your internal reason is that you want to prove them wrong about you, that you want to shove your accomplishments in their face? The fuel for your actions is based upon anger. You have to keep that anger going if you want to succeed. Being angry that long is not fun for you and can drive away those around you.

Your Attitude is Crucial

It’s not just the “why” of doing something, it’s also the attitudinal “how” that determines whether you are happy or unhappy during the process of accomplishment. Life can be great fun or it can be filled with pain and turmoil. Everyone’s life has high points and low points. What is going on with you internally, your feelings, will determine whether life is fun or drudgery.

If you want to prove something to someone because you are angry with them, look for another reason to achieve the same goal. Search within you and find the reason for accomplishment that is based upon positive feelings. This could be as simple as you have always wanted to succeed in this area and you would feel a sense of great accomplishment when you have reached your goal. That is internal motivation.

Many people are aimless in life until they fall in love with someone. Suddenly they find the reason for accomplishment. They move forward out of love for another. This is a positive attitude that can lead to joy in life as long as you stay in the energy of love. What happens, however, if that person is gone or that love is gone? What moves you then? That’s why you ultimately have to act upon what you desire and what you want.

Once you are clear on why you want to achieve a particular goal, and you know you want to achieve it for yourself, then you are well on your journey with an internal energy which will sustain you as time goes on.

Collaborating with the Dead in a Writing Project

Collaborating with the Dead in a Writing Project

[one_half]Lately I’ve been working on a number of writing projects. Some are metaphysical in nature, another is a novel with its seeds in what I do with spirit release, and yet another is joining Napoleon Hill, who died in 1970, in a project. He’s already completed his part which is Think and Grow Rich. What I’m doing is taking the knowledge and skills I’ve gained over my 35+ years as a therapist and suggesting exercises at the end of each chapter to integrate his concepts.

We’ve learned a great deal about the mind and all its levels (conscious, sub-conscious, sub-sub-conscious, super conscious, super super conscious) since Hill published his books. I’m applying our (as in the people of the world) new knowledge so that people can get beyond the blocks to achieving what they want which are located, maybe even locked, deep in the subconscious mind.

If you’re not familiar with Think and Grow Rich, think of it as a precursor to the book The Secret. Hill took on the task and interviewed hundreds of wealthy folks, probably all men since they’re the ones who made money in the late 19th and early 20th century. He did this over the course of 20 years with the purpose of discovering commonalities between these wealthy folks. By the way, these were people who amassed their wealth themselves, not those who were born into wealth. For instance, he would have interviewed Sam Walton, before he died of course, not his children. [/one_half] [one_half_last]Think and Grow Rich is the most well-known of his books. He also wrote The Law of Success. From the research I’ve done, Think and Grow Rich is a distillation of The Law of Success and the latter book has a 1928 version which is a distillation of the 1925 version. I’m sure I’ll be reflecting more on these three books as I continue my work, but, for now, I won’t say anything else about The Law of Success. You might be saying, “Oh, come on, Cathy, give us a hint.” My reply, “Let me read the two versions first and then compare with Think and Grow Rich.” Yep, I’m grinning as I write that.

Back to my collaboration with Napoleon Hill and Think and Grow Rich

I’ve read Think and Grow Rich several times. The concepts within it may have been new to most people when first published in 1937. They aren’t anymore. The self-help era which began in the 1980s, motivational gurus and metaphysical teachers have taught the concepts for decades now. The Secret, which tells of a secret to abundance hidden for centuries, or so I’ve been told because I only skimmed the book, contains similar precepts as Think and Grow Rich.

The one of the key concepts I’ve heard in 99% of all manifesting abundance and manifesting the life you want info is to focus on the good, eliminate negative thinking and keep the positive in the forefront. There is an addition “secret” to manifesting that isn’t spoken of as much. That “secret” is called action… but that is a topic for another post. [/one_half_last]


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