Fear of Failure: How to Push through Fear

Fear of Failure

What is the Fear of Failure

Have you ever had that gut-wrenching fear of failure tie you in knots?

If you define success by the inner quality of feeling proud of your accomplishments, I believe everyone wants to be successful.

Many people who look outwardly successful have an emotional program of fear of failure running in the background of their lives.

For successful people this fear propels them forward. They do everything they can to be sure failure doesn’t catch up to them. The problem is they will make decisions based upon what they don’t want to happen. In other words, they are always looking in the rear view mirror attempting to outrun failure rather than looking ahead to the successful outcome of their actions.

The “rear view mirror” outlook is not a pleasant one. There is a vague, and sometimes profound feeling of discontent and anxiety that failure will overtake them. They “see” in their mind’s eye all they have accomplished laying in shards around their feet.

This is not happiness. There is no Joy in focusing on outrunning that which you are attempting to avoid. There will always be this dissatisfaction driving them to the next activity so they can feel secure, successful. The problem is that as long as the fear of failure is what drives them, there is no safety, no security.

Depending upon how strong the fear is, judgment can be clouded resulting in bad decisions made impulsively. This can make the fear a reality.

The Power of Focusing on Success

Runners are told to never look back and see who might be catching up with them. That second of changing their focus from the finish line slows them down enough where the person one-step behind could pull ahead.

Always focus ahead.

When you’re focusing on success you’re not imagining what you do which can go wrong. You’re focusing on those actions which will move you forward.

This is huge when you realize the role of your subconscious mind in failure or success.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t care whether you fail or succeed. That’s because it only does what it thinks you want it to do. If you are holding failure in your mind, that’s what you subconscious mind thinks you want. It will do everything it can to make that happen for you.

Ahh, but if you hold success in mind, then that is where your subconscious mind will lead you.

Align Your Subconscious Mind with Success

Let’s look at some ways to get your subconscious mind on board with what you want.

Define Success

You have to realize your subconscious mind is concrete. It doesn’t deal in abstracts. If  you say you want to succeed and then move into fear by imagining all that can go wrong, then that is how your subconscious mind will define success. Not what you want!

Give your subconscious mind actual cues of what success means to you.

Vision BoardsRoad to success

This is easy and it’s fun. You may have heard about constructing a vision board. That’s where you cut out
pictures and words and put them on a poster board. The very process of looking for images and sayings of what you wants assists your subconscious mind in knowing what you want.

Post your vision board where you can see it. But, don’t just look at it. Imagine your are experiencing every one of those things on your vision board. If you put a boat on your board then feel yourself on it, the wind in your face, the warmth of the sun. Feel the joy!

Mental Images

These are mental vision boards. I suggest you have several. I’ll tell you why in a moment.

Construct a mental success image now. Yep, right now. It won’t take long.

What do you want to accomplish? See you accomplishing it. If you want to run and complete a marathon, see yourself crossing the finish line. Hear people cheering your success. Feel the sweat dripping down your body and the smile on your face. Feel the emotion of success. Revel in that emotion of success. Hear what people say to you about your success. Hear you congratulating your success.

Now form another mental success image. Perhaps it’s learning a craft. My example will be making jewelry. Bring to mind a piece you’d like to make. Feel the completed gorgeous piece in your hands. Hear people ohh and ahh when seeing it. Again, feel that satisfaction in your body.

Everyday bring to mind these mental images in all their sensory detail. Tell your subconscious mind, “This is success.” Then go into the image, feelings, sounds, tastes and smells.

Use these images any time fear of failure rears it’s ugly self-confidence draining ugly head. Tell that fear, “Liar. This is where I’m going.” Then bring those images to mind.

You can do this. Get rid of the rear view mirror and move forward to success!

I’m cheering you on.

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Help You Find Your Place in Life

imageWays to Use Affirmations to Help You Find Your Place in Life

I’m going to share with you some affirmations you can use to find your passion and what you do in life. First, let me share what happened with an acquaintance. I was doing a Body Talk session with her and boredom  and came up. Unfortunately, boredom is a common experience of people in their job. Many people feel stuck because they aren’t happy with what they’re doing or they feel that something is lacking, but they don’t know how to find that sweet spot of life.

How You Block Your Inner Knowing

Within you, what I call your inner knowing, is the answer to what it is you would like to do with your life. It isn’t often in the form of a bill board. The answer is rarely delivered in a letter. Usually, you come to know where you belong in the work world by paying attending to the excitement or tingling sensation which comes when you think about a particular opportunity.

Many people try too hard to figure out what they want to do. Often, they completely forget to notice what they already enjoy. The key to your passion is what you love to do. There can be a wide variety of activities or occupations in what you most enjoy. For instance, if you enjoy working with children, and have the necessary education, you could be a teacher, adoption worker, foster care worker, own a day care, work with the Special Olympics, be a foster or adoptive parent, run or work in a camp, or multitudes of other possibilities.

Others cut off the knowledge that comes from deep within because they’re afraid of making a mistake with their choice. If you have an idea of what you would like to do, and it involves a great deal of education, volunteer or apprentice in that particular area if at all possible. I have a cousin who wanted to be a nurse. That is an intense educational process. She decided to see if she would like that vocation by becoming educated at the lowest level of caretaking in the nursing field. After discovering she did, indeed, enjoy the nursing field, she became a nurse and worked in it for a number of years.

If you only work in your chosen field for a few years, you’ve gained invaluable experience.  My personal belief is that every job or profession you undertake, as well as every experience in life, brings you to whatever is next. There are no mistakes in this area. There is only a gathering of experience and learning. Go ahead and take a risk and try doing something you have in mind.

Affirmations to Clear the Subconscious Mind

Now let’s give your subconscious mind some instructions. These instructions are very important. They tell your subconscious mind what it is you actually want to happen in your life. Whatever is there on the deepest levels of yourself, that is what your subconscious mind works to make happen. We want to give this very powerful and often forgotten aspect of yourself some clear instructions about what you want. Remember, we want them to be positive.

Before I give you these affirmations, I want to impress upon you the importance of engaging the feeling level of yourself in this process. Don’t just repeat the statements to yourself like the multiplication tables. Feel them. See yourself engaged and happy in whatever it is you’re doing. Use all of your senses as you repeat these affirmations to yourself.

  1. It is easy for me to know what I want to do with my life.
  2. I pay attention to the quiet whispers of my inner knowing.
  3. Every day my passion in life becomes clearer and clearer.
  4. I am excited, delighted and fulfilled by what I have chosen to do.
  5. I am filled with a sense of purpose.

Get started with these affirmations, now. Search the Internet for others which ring true to you. Take a risk and have fun.

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

Positive Affirmations for Career Success

The major reason clients come into my office is to assist them in becoming successful in life. They asked me, “What can I do? Are there some affirmations I can use which can help me become successful in my field?” Yes, of course there are. There is something even more important than affirmations for success. This is believing in yourself.
The Combination of Words and Action
Just minutes ago I was working with the man who is extremely talented. He will soon have his doctorate, he’s an excellent writer, he has tremendous insight into his field. There is one thing he does not have. That is the self-confidence to do what he needs to do to reach his ultimate goal.
I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him. It doesn’t matter if you have self-confidence. It only matters that you have a plan and you follow it. When you follow one at a time the steps you have outlined, you will gain self-confidence on the way.
Stating affirmations does you absolutely no good if you do not couple them with action. when you combine positive statements with taking the steps necessary to move forward your entire being comes into alignment moving you to what you want to accomplish.
You can have all the gasoline you want in a car, but if you do not turn the key it will not move forward. The same is true for positive affirmations. Think of these statements that you make as the gasoline to your car. Taking action is turning the key so that it all comes together. When you combine the repetition of what you want to become beliefs to guide your life with the action necessary to accomplish your goal, you will gain self-confidence. And with that you will become successful in your career and other areas of life.
Putting Together Postive Statements with Powerful Imaging
I’m going to give you two sets of affirmations. The first has to do with believing in yourself. The second has to do with success in your career. I’m assuming here that you know what it is you want to be going.
Remember you have to combine words with action. In this case, I want you to incorporate the power of your mind. Do this by imagining yourself being or doing what the affirmations states. After doing this exercise, take the first step necessary to manifest your goal. This could be picking up the phone, taking a course, or some other necessary step. Just be sure it move  you forward and is not just spinning your wheels, so to speak.
To Increase Self-Confidence
  1. I have unlimited potential.
  2. My very being radiates competence and confidence.
  3. I am excited about life and the possibilities available.

To Attract Success in Your Career

  1. I have the ability to become competent and capable in any area of expertise I apply myself.
  2. I attract to me the perfect career, at the perfect salary with the perfect benefits for me.
  3. Every decision I make leads me directly to the achievement of my career goals.
Summary
Each time you repeat any of these statements imagine yourself being what you have just said. Believe in yourself and follow your plan.

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Tips for Writing Your Own Affirmations

Affirmations are simple positive statements you make which reinforce something in your life. These statements can be about what you would like to have, such as riches and fame, or the type of person you would like to be, such as loving or assertive. You can always go to your favorite search engine and find affirmations particular to your situation. The best, however, are those you develop for yourself. Here is a simple process in which you can do this.

Identify What You Want

Many people believe this is very easy. You may think you want riches, but you would really like is security. When you say you want success, you may actually desire a parental approval.

To discover what you truly want in life keep repeating the same question. That question is, “And what will that get me?”

For instance, you say you want a particular type of house in a specific neighborhood. Ask, “And what will that get me?”. An answer might be, “It’ll prove I’m successful.” Now ask, “And what will that get me?” This time you might say, “People will notice me.” Repeat the process. You might get, “People will look up to me.” Keep doing this until you get a sort of ah-ha internal experience. Then you know this is truly what you want.

Develop Your Positive Statement

Now that you know your true desire put it in a positive statement using present tense. An example, “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” If you follow the process above, this affirmation may be exactly what it is that you truly want. Yes, you may still have that house in mind, but that comes later in the process.

If you get your house, but don’t get what you truly want, you will still feel dissatisfied and empty. The key is to  uncover your deepest yearnings. When those are fulfilled you will experience joy and completion.

Identify How You Will  Know You Have What You Most Want

This process actually works with your subconscious mind. It is your subconscious mind which silently guides and directs you by means of what it believes you want to happen in your life. Your subconscious mind is concrete, not abstract. It doesn’t deal in feelings (unless you tell it what those feelings mean), but black-and-white statements. You have to tell it what you mean by what you say. This is where that house you have your eye on comes in.

How will you know when you have achieved,  “My family notices my success and congratulates me.” List three things you will see in your life when the statement, “My family notices my success and congratulates me” is fulfilled. This is where you put things such as, “I have a house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms built to my specifications on an acre of land next to the water,” “My children attend an elite private school and are at the top of their class,” or “My income after taxes is $250,000.”

Once you have these three things you will see that proves your success, get in touch with how it will feel, what people will say about you, and everything else involved in your achievement. Since you want your family to notice you you will want to add comments your family would say to you such as, “I’m proud of you,” “You have really done well,” or “Congratulations.”

Anchoring It In

The last step is to use your affirmation while keeping in mind those marks of achievement with all the feelings and comments from others involved. Do that now. Now touch your thumb to one of your fingers as an anchor to what it is you desire. Throughout the day repeat that statement of achievement keeping in mind the images, words and feelings which accompany it.

Just repeating this statement over and over will do very little. You need to bring with you the visual, auditory and kinesthetic experiences which accompany your accomplishment.

Everything You Need to Succeed Is Within You

Everything You Need to Succeed Is Within You

People come to see me because they feel stuck and need some help. They may be attracted by the tools I use such as The BodyTalk System, PSYCH-K, Soul Healing and other tools. They are powerful tools, but they are all devised to bring the person recognize the only one who can really help them… and it’s not me.

My job is to assist the client in looking within and finding the power that is already there. By the time the individual comes for assistance, he or she has experienced many incidents of what is interpreted as failure by themselves or others. Some of this supposed failure is in the realm of accomplishment in school and jobs. Other failures, which are the most debilitating, revolve around not being the person he or she wants to be. Everyone, if honest with him or herself, has had these times. When this happens there is a great reluctance to look at oneself in the mirror.

Are you one of those people struggling to get beyond a history of personal failures? Are you one of those who is afraid or ashamed to look yourself in the eye and tell the truth about yourself?

Personal Truth is Not What You Think

When people talk about being honest with themselves, they are usually referring to admitting their faults and character defects. It is important to acknowledge where you have been in your life and what, within you, has put you where you are. Once you accept your personal accountability, you then need to move away from your failures and do a different inventory of yourself. You must, and I do mean must, look deep within and find the gifts and talents you have. The abilities you have within you are what will move you from where you are to what you want to be.

Napoleon Hill, in the 1925 version of The Law of Success, tells the true story of a man who went from homelessness to being the president of a multinational company simply by accepting that his power was within him – and then gathering that power to move him forward to where he wanted to go. If you wish to succeed, you must look yourself squarely in the eye and accept your total responsibility for what has happened in your life. If you blame your current situation on forces outside of yourself, no matter what difficulties or horrors have happened in your life, then you will never move forward in life. If, however, you accept the responsibility for your responses to what has happened to you, you then know that you have the ability to respond to life’s situations in a different manner. When you respond differently then you will be in a different place.

Your Personal Inventory of Strengths

Take out a piece of paper and write down something you do well. It doesn’t matter how mundane you believe that “something” is. It could be your ability to cross the street safely. Now list at least 10 characteristics within you that assist you in performing that action. For instance, if you choose crossing the street safely, you could list: being aware of my environment, the desire to stay alive, evaluation of the speed of vehicles, knowing how fast I move, the ability to judge distances. What are other characteristics that assist you in walking across the street safely?

Do this little exercise on several different activities you do. Notice the characteristics which show up more than once. These are the characteristics you have within you which, when activated consciously, will move you from where you are now to a place of success.

There is no one who can turn you into a success. You can have ten different coaches, but if you don’t accept responsibility and take action, you will never move to where you desire to be.

The Mastery of Fear

The Mastery of Fear

The Mastery of Fear can be a wonderful emotion that keeps you alive. It is fear which has you react quickly and without thought when there is an on-coming car. Your instincts take over and, without thought or analysis, you move quickly out of the way of danger. As much as fear can keep you alive, it can also freeze you into inaction. You can become so terrified you will be hurt in some way that you refuse to take risks and try new things. In this situation fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.

False Evidence

When your mind runs wild with the danger of taking a particular action, you are convincing yourself of something you have no evidence will actually happen. Let’s say you’re interested in mountain climbing but you’re terrified you’ll fall and either die or be severely hurt. True, this has happened to many people, but not to as many as you might think. The news takes great relish in furiously reporting death and destruction. It rarely reports life and excitement, unless it’s involving a national or college sports team.

How many people do you know who have successfully climbed the 55 fourteeners (14,000+ foot high peaks) in Colorado? I have no idea, but I did a quick internet search using the keywords, “climbing the 14000 foot mountains of Colorado.” There were 774,000 results with the top ones containing a tremendous amount of information of the 14ers, the moniker used by one web site. If you have a desire to climb, are you going to be paralyzed by the negative of what might happen or by the positive accomplishments of tens of thousands of people who regularly climb?

By researching you can learn the definite danger spots of climbing mountains, or any other endeavor for that matter, and form a plan to overcome them. All you need is education, a plan of action, the right equipment or tools, and the desire to move forward.

Appearing Real

When your self-talk is negative, you are training your brain to be afraid. You’ve heard the saying, “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” (This came from the movie “The Fly” with Jeff Goldbloom.) Although, the actual intent of the slogan was humorous, your negative self-talk is training your mind to be in a state of fear. You would protect yourself more by being wary of what you can do to yourself through your thoughts and beliefs than fearing whatever effect an action you take can have. When you combine the power of your emotions with thoughts, you form a chemical bond which imprints upon your brain. Your thoughts plus emotion can form a loop which is difficult to break out of. Use positive feelings with positive thoughts and you will move further in life in one year than you have ever done before.

Your brain and your mental abilities are amazing. Science is just beginning to seriously study the power of the combination of your thoughts plus your emotions. We are learning that the thought plus emotion combo fools your brain into believing that what you are thinking of is real. When you combine emotions of fear with thoughts of “I can’t do this or something bad will happen,” your brain believes it is real. You’ve just created for yourselfFalse Evidence Appearing Real.

Napoleon Hill in “The Law of Success” talks about how the enemy of progress is fear. It can immobilize you if you let it. It can prevent you from accessing the power residing within you to fulfill your dreams. It will quench the passion which fuels your action.

The promise in the power you have within you if you only allow it to bloom, is that by controlling what you think and feel, and that includes fear and thoughts of fear, you can accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible.

Three Questions to Ask When Establishing Your Definite Purpose

Three Questions to Ask When Establishing Your Definite Purpose I’m sure you know by now that setting specific goals in life is crucial to achieving success. Did you know that there is something you should do before you set those goals? The critical task before establishing your goals is to analyze your desires and motivations and write out what Napoleon Hill in “The Law of Success” calls your Definite Purpose.

In the language of Steven Covey and others in the motivational and success field, Definite Purpose is also known as your Mission Statement. Since I’m studying Napoleon Hill’s “The Law of Success,” I’m going to stick to what he calls Definite Purpose. If you are more familiar and comfortable with the term “Mission Statement,” you can apply what you learn here to what you know about your Mission Statement.

When Napoleon Hill interviewed the successful people of his time, as well as another 15,000 people, he discovered that those who were successful each had a Definite Purpose for their life. Unfortunately, only 5% of the people he interviewed were successful, and of those 5% of those who were successful, 100% of them had a Definite Purpose which guided their lives. This Definite Purpose was in writing where they could see it when they awakened in the morning and before they went to sleep at night. If you want to be successful, then do what successful people do.

There are three questions to ask yourself when establishing your Definite Purpose.

1. Is it constructive?

2. Will it bring hardship or trouble to anyone?

3. Will it bring you peace and prosperity?

Let’s look more closely at these three questions.

Is it constructive could be asked in a few other ways. Does your Definite Purpose contribute in a positive way to the world? Is it something you would be proud to share with anyone you meet? If you believe in an afterlife, would you be excited to share it with those who greet you after you leave your body?

Will it bring hardship or trouble is not talking about simple difficulties in life. Will your Definite Purpose be supportive of others in their lives? You may have as your goal to make millions or billions of dollars, but if you do it in with a ponzi scheme in which people will lose their life savings you have caused hardship and brought suffering to those who trusted you.

Will it bring you peace and prosperity is an internal measure. Being a drug dealer of either street or prescription drugs will not bring you peace. It might bring you money, but prosperity is much more than having money. It is the feeling that every area of your life is full and fulfilled. If you are continually on edge because someone might turn you in to the police, or you will be found out and sent to prison, there is no peace.

Once you set your Definite Purpose and know it satisfies the three questions above, then you can establish goals to move you forward to the fulfillment of what people now call your mission statement. This is your passion and you will be able to keep your desire burning brightly and your motivation alive until it is accomplished.


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